Turtlebird Journal Publishing

My Joy Is Non-Negotiable

I Wish I Never Took This Shit Job

Tackle That Shit

Thank Goodness I Don't Have to Hunt for My Own Food. I Don't Even Know Where Tacos Live

Shit to Get Done

If Cursing like a Motherfucker Burned Calories I'd Weigh like Eight Fucking Pounds

Fucking Hustling

I Hate My Job and My Life

Fuck. That Is All I Have to Say

You Can Be a Good Person with a Kind Spirit and Still Tell People to Fuck off When Needed

I'm Sorry but I Don't Take Orders. I Barely Take Suggestions

When People Treat You like They Don't Care, Believe Them.

Life Is Not a Fairytale. If You Lose Your Shoe at Midnight, You're Drunk

Be Savage, Not Average

If I Say "First of All" Run Away Because I Have Prepared Research, Data, Charts and Will Destroy You

Instead of Saying "Have a Nice Day" I Think I'll Start Saying "Have the Day You Deserve"

People Are Assholes. Just Make Sure You're Not the Toilet Paper

Mom of Sassholes

Kindly Fuck off

I Don't Fart. I Whisper in My Underwear

If You're Talking Behind My Back, You're in a Real Good Position to Kiss My Ass

Ew, People

Thanks for Your Complaint, I Will File It Right Between "I Don't Give a Flying Fuck" and "Sucks to Be You"

To My Friends