Turtlebird Journal Publishing

Always Hustling

My List of Things I Was Right About

I Never Asked to Be the World's Best Hospice Nurse, but Here I Am Absolutely Crushing It

I Whisper What the Fuck to Myself at Least 20 Times a Day

I Will Never Fit In. That's One of My Best Qualities

Go Deep Throat a Cactus

This Job Is Slowly Killing Me

Extremely Stable Genius

Behind Every Good School Is a Great Principal

I Get Paid to Be Nice at Work. Not Sure Why My Friends and Family Expect That Shit for Free

Things I Want to Say to My Coworkers but Fucking Can't

What Fucking Ever

Fuck Trump

Of Course I Talk like an Idiot. How Else Could You Undertand Me?

You Smell like Drama and a Headache - Please Go Away

I Think I've Seized the Wrong Fucking Day

My Life Is 50% Wondering If It's Too Late to Drink Coffee and 50% Wondering If It's Too Early to Drink Alcohol

If You Don't Want a Sarcastic Answer, Don't Ask a Stupid Question

Sure, Let Me Drop Everything and Work on Your Problem

I Talk a Lot of Smack for Someone Who Tips over When Putting on Their Underwear

Who Sprinkled the Bitchy Dust?

I'm Jealous of All the People Who Haven't Met You

New Monday. New Week. New Goals

Forgive and Forget? I'm Neither Jesus nor Do I Have Alzheimer's