Turtlebird Journal Publishing

I Thought I Was in a Bad Mood But It's Been a Few Years so I Guess This Is Who I Am Now

An Apple a Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough

I Don't Don't Treat People Badly, I Treat Them Accordingly

You'll Love This Book as Much as You Hate Your Job

If 40 Is the New 30, and 50 Is the New 40, Why Can't Thursday Be the New Friday?

This Is so Boring I Could Die

Ain't Nobody Ready for Me, Straight up

What the Fuck?!?

I Hate My Job but It Pays Well

Let That Shit Go

Stop Petting My Peeves

I'm Busy Right Now, Can I Ignore You Some Other Time?

That Moment When You Flex Your Foot Wrong and It Cramps.. You Think "This Is It. This Is How It Ends"

This Meeting Is so Boring I Could Fucking Die

I Used to Care, But Now I Take a Pill for That

Boobytrap Backwards Is Partyboob

Tell Me Not to Do Something and I Will Do It Twice and Take Pictures

Be Real with Me, or Just Leave Me Alone

I Can Hear Monday Morning Already Whispering "Go Fuck Yourself" Into My Ear

Don't Be so Pathetic

I Don't Care About Your Baby's Poop

People I Want to Punch in the Face

In Order to Bring Me Down, You Have to Be Able to Reach Me

Shut the Fuck up and Drink Your Feelings like the Rest of Us