Turtlebird Journal Publishing

Notes from Another Meeting That Should Have Been an Email

I'm Sorry, Did I Roll My Eyes out Loud?

I'm Sorry, What Language Are You Speaking? It Sounds like Bullshit.

No Need to Drive Me Crazy, I Can Walk from Here

Be Careful Not to Trip over My Amazingness

I Do Not Spew Profanities. I Enunciate Them Clearly, like a Fucking Lady

I'm Going to File Your Opinions Right Here Between "Fuck This" and "Fuck That"

Karmasutra

Sometimes I Wish I Were a Nicer Person but Then I Laugh and Continue My Day

I Have Not Lost My Mind. Half of It Just Wandered off and the Other Half Went Looking for It

Shit I Want to Fucking Do

Leave Me Alone

I Don't Think There Will Be Enough Coffee or Middle Fingers for This Monday

You Are Either on My Side, by My Side, or in My Fucking Way. Choose Wisely

You're the Reason This Country Has to Put Directions on Shampoo

I'm Not Insulting You. I'm Describing You

I Came, I Saw, I Forgot What I Was Doing, Retraced My Steps, Got Lost on the Way Back, Now I Have No Idea What's Going on

SMH Shaking My Head Sex Might Help

Assholes I Want to Punch in the Face

Don't Ever Underestimate My Ability to Find Shit out

I Would like to Confirm That I Do Not Care

If My Mouth Doesn't Say It, My Face Definitely Will

I Don't Have Gray Hair I Have Wisdom Highlights

This Meeting Is so Boring I Could Die