If I Stay (If I Stay, #1)

by Gayle Forman

In a single moment, everything changes. Seventeen year-old Mia has no memory of the accident; she can only recall riding along the snow-wet Oregon road with her family. Then, in a blink, she finds herself watching as her own damaged body is taken from the wreck...

A sophisticated, layered, and heartachingly beautiful story about the power of family and friends, the choices we all make—and the ultimate choice Mia commands.

• ISBN10: 0147514533
• ISBN13: 9780147514530
• Publish Date: 8 July 2014 (first published 1 April 2009)
• Publish Status: Out of Print
• Out of Print: 17 March 2021
• Publish Country: US
• Publisher: Penguin Putnam Inc
• Imprint: Penguin USA
• Format: Paperback (US Trade)
• Pages: 259
• Language: English

Reviews

[Sam@WLABB]

At one point in the story, one of the nurses declare that "She's (Mia) running the show". That pretty much sums up the basic premise of "If I Stay". Mia is a 17 year old with a loving mother, father and brother, with whom she loves to spend her time. She is also a gifted cellist who loves classical music. One day, the whole family ventures on a road trip to visit family friends and tragedy strikes. Mia and her family are involved in a horrible car accident that leaves her in a coma and with the big decision to fight or retreat. To help her decide, she reflects on her life before the accident in flashbacks and wonders how it would be if she stayed.

I throughly enjoyed this book. Forman crafted a beautiful picture of familial bliss, but it was real. The family had problems and disagreements and struggles, but in the end, they were there for one another and loved each other. This also applied to their friends, or rather, "extended family". She also painted this beautiful love story between Mia and Adam. Again, we always had the reality and I appreciate that part of her writing. It seemed a smart choice due to the heavy nature of this story. The romance, friendship and family should not be all sticky sweet and perfect, but should be honest.

Forman does a wonderful job of conveying many emotions, from a joyous birth to a sad realization. I felt the happiness, the joy, the pain, the suffering, the sadness -- I felt it all. And, it was beautiful.

I thought I would enjoy it more? But it was an excellent read. It blows me away every time I think about the way Gayle built these characters, their development and how I cherish for them.

It's... oh.

And please, don't make me start on talking about Adam Wilde because.

[Bianca]

I can lose you like that if I don't lose you today. I'll let you go. If you stay.

[rakesandrogues]

Have your tissues ready because If I Stay by Gayle Forman is one hell of a tear-jerker. Mia’s family was just going out for a drive one morning. Next thing she knows, Mia is watching herself get taken away by an ambulance after a horrific car accident.

I love how point of view is used in If I Stay. Even if Mia is in a coma, she has an out of body experience that sees what is going on around her while she remains in critical condition at the ICU. She cannot interact with anyone, but she can listen to conversations and follow family members and friends around the hospital.

Forman also uses flashbacks quite well. Through flashbacks, we learn more about how Mia and Adam’s relationship developed. We also learned more about Mia’s family. By the time I reached the end of the book, I felt such a strong connection with all of the minor characters that the whole novel became even more heart-wrenching. This is one of the few books in YA in which the protagonist actually has an awesome relationship with her parents. For once, the parents are not absentee or ignorant. Their relationship with Mia just makes this book all the more powerful.

Okay, there is so much buzz in the blogging world about swoon-worthy Adam. And alright, I admit it – he is very swoon-worthy. He’s such a nice guy and he’s such a perfect boyfriend to Mia. What more can a girl want?

If I Stay by Gayle Forman is one of the best books I’ve read this year. I had a hard time putting this book down. Now, I can’t wait to pick up the sequel Where She Went.

[Stephanie]

I stayed away from this book for a while, because I knew had to do with death, and I knew it was sad. But I'm so happy I read it because it is so much more than just death and sadness. It's full of humor and happiness and romance and I just loved it to pieces.

I absolutely loved every character in the book. I loved Mia and how she's so passionate about classical music. And I loved Adam and how he was so passionate about his music. And I loved these two together so much. They were always so cute together, but I think I loved them so much because I got to see that their relationship wasn't perfect, that it had it's flaws.

I loved everything about Mia's family. They have such a fun dynamic, it's fun to read about, but then I would remember that they died in the car accident, it was sad, but also fun to read about the fun times Mia had with her parents and little brother.

I loved how the story was written. There's the present, where Mia is watching everyone react to the car accident and what is happening around her at the hospital. But then we get these, I wouldn't call them flashbacks, but something similar, that show us how Mia lived before the accident, and how everyone's relationship was with each other. There were the good memories, but also the bad, and it made me feel like these were real people.

I absolutely loved this book and hope others decide to read if they have reservations about it.

[Jyc]

★★★★☆ // i wish i experience that kind of intensity and passion in my life. that ending.

[Amanda]

Actual rating: 4.5

#insixwords review: I want to hug everyone now.

Original review: http://onabookbender.com/2012/01/11/review-if-i-stay-by-gayle-forman/

Remember when I said I don’t really cry easily when I read books? If I Stay made me cry. I wanted to bawl. It made me set down the book and go bake cookies with my mom. It made me text my brother just to say, “Hey, how are you?” and it made me hug the boyfriend just a little more tightly. This book will destroy you. At first I didn’t think I would be able to write a review because If I Stay is the kind of book that rubs your emotions raw and leaves them open and bleeding. But it would be doing a disservice not to talk about If I Stay. So here I am.

If I Stay alternates between present day of Mia in a coma watching life unfold around her and memories that Mia relives. The memories reveal, while not a perfect childhood, a childhood that is certainly filled with a loving family and happy times. When contrasted with the present Mia, locked a coma, these memories become even more painful to bear, a poignant reminder of everything that can be lost.

As difficult and heart-wrenching as If I Stay is, it is a book that you should consider reading. Though there is so much more that I could say, this is one you should experience for yourself.

[notajammiedodger]

If I Stay by Gayle Forman is a story of a girl who has a tragic and life threatening accident. When Mia feels as though everything she has is lost forever she doesn't know who she'll turn to or how to carry on. This leaves her with the ultimate decision, will she stay. It grips you from the very first few pages; with the crash happening so soon into the story I found that I couldn't put it down once I started, I read hungrily wanting to know what was going to happen at the end.

If I Stay switches between Mia's present where she is stuck in the hospital, and her past. Sometimes the constant switching between time periods can be very confusing in books, but i feel that Forman handled it really well, I think that it flowed nicely. Asterisk's represented the switch to Mia's past memories , and the digital time represented the switch back to her present. Mia's memories flowed in no particular order and sometimes went from her being 8 playing her first concert and then all the way to her relationship with Adam and back again. It flowed nicely with the story and I didn't feel confused with it.

Mia and Adam's relationship is a very interesting one. On the outside they both seem like completely opposite people, Mia being the presentable, classical music cellist and Adam being the cool, punky kid who's in his own rock band, but they fit together so well, and their relationship is so wonderful. The kind of thing that you spend your whole life looking for. I really liked Adam, he's sweet and cute and he's a musician. i wish I that I had a guy that I could sit and read with for hours! :P

"This is the you I like. You definitely dressed sexier and are, you know, blond and that's different. But that you who you are tonight is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you I'll be in love with tomorrow. I love that you are fragile and tough, quiet and kick-ass. Hell you're one of the punkest girls I know, no matter who you listen to or what you wear." - Adam, page 89.

I really liked that Forman included the short 'The Story Behind The Story.' It gives you the chance to see where the story came from, the inspiration (which I personally always love to know); it is heart breaking to see so many people that you love leave you all at once. I like the themes explored, and the idea that the author got the chance to try and answer some of her own questions, and likely others, surrounding death.

"That's how we manage to survive loss. Because love never dies; it never goes away; and it never fades. As long as you hold onto it." - Gayle Forman, January 2010

This review is also on my blog The Confessions of a Book Nerd :)

[Amber]

The story kicks off with our main character, , driving with her parents and younger brother to see her grandparents. All of a sudden they’re in a terrifying car crash when a truck hits their car and knocks them off the road. The next part of the scene describes the crash, and the victims. It’s quite hard to read, very disturbing and rather gross.

Through the rest of the books, Mia is left disconnected from her body. She watches her family and friends visit her in the hospital, and the reader is treated to a series of flashbacks as Mia looks back upon her short life.

The main focus of this book is Mia, and whether or not she should pass on. Her love story with Adam is also intertwined in this novel, and I felt that this came on a bit strong. I do understand that Mia didn’t have much else to live for, however she did have the rest of her extended family and friends. I think there may have been too much focus on this aspect of the novel.

Music also plays a huge part in this novel, as Mia is an outstanding cellist. Music is Mia’s universe.

Overall, this is a great read, but I just didn’t find it as compelling as I thought I would. The story just wasn’t deep enough for me, mainly due to the fact that all Mia thought about was Adam. There wasn’t enough emotion there for me, and I honestly expected it to be a lot more intense.

The ending is a cliff hanger, which would have worked well as a stand-alone book and yet, it set things up nicely for the sequel. I have an e-book of Where She Went waiting to be read, and I will hopefully be picking this up soon.

Rating: 3/5

[Jo]

I bought this book a while back before I even knew I would be doing Death and Bereavement Week at the behest of a fellow blogger. I had read on several blogs that this book was brilliant, so I did indeed buy it. Considering its subject matter, it was a no brainer that I would read it for the week. Now I wish I had read it much sooner.

When schools have announced a snow day, Mia's family decide to go out for the day and visit some friends. But then there is an accident, a car crash. Mia ends up in hospital, but is somehow separated from herself; her spirit sees and hears and walks. While her body is lying in a hospital bed, she is roaming the hospital with a decision to make; should she stay, live and deal with the tragedy, or should she go and die?

To be honest, when I started reading it, I had trouble with it. The very first pages were great, as it was painted as being just an ordinary morning. But when it comes to the accident, I couldn't deal with how graphic the crash scene is. So much so, you don't realise actually what's happening until it hits you. That along with all the blood was just too much for me at the time. I had to put it down. I read four other books before I could pick it up again, after some encouragement from another blogger. I picked it up again, and worked past the squeamishness to get to the heart of the story. Once I was there... wow.

The story takes place just over 24 hours, but is interspaced with flashbacks of beautiful, happy, joyous moments of Mia's life. The important things in her life; her family, her boyfriend, her best friend, her music. And it's just wonderful. Some of these moments are so crazy yet normal, they caused flashbacks of my own, moments of my life that are ridiculous and crazy and normal. It was just brilliant.

The main crux of the story is Mia's choice, and which way she will go. Throughout the novel, you're never entirely sure which she will choose. Watching her deal with the her time in hospital and remember all those moments, struggling with the decision of whether to live or die is just... mind blowing. If you think of the gravity of that decision, that there is a possibility she may choose to die, it's just amazing, the whole idea. And seeing both sides of the coin, reasons for living and dying, and undersanding, just makes it even more hard yet beautiful to read, and her ultimate decision so powerful.

What was also really lovely was getting to see Mia's family and friends visit Mia at her bedside, them not knowing about Mia's presence. Seeing them talk to her while they're in this limbo of not knowing whether she'll make it or not is just heartbreaking but lovely.

This is a fantastic, beautiful book that everyone should read. I absolutely adored it, and it makes me so, so happy that I don't have to make Mia's choice.

Once Upona Bookcase - YA book blog