The Boyfriend List: (15 Guys, 11 Shrink Appointments, 4 Ceramic Frogs and Me, Ruby Oliver) (Ruby Oliver, #1)

by E. Lockhart

A Seattle fifteen-year-old explains some of the reasons for her recent panic attacks, including breaking up with her boyfriend, losing all her girlfriends, tensions between her performance-artist mother and her father, and more.

• ISBN10: 0385902387
• ISBN13: 9780385902380
• Publish Date: 22 March 2005
• Publish Status: Out of Print
• Out of Print: 16 June 2021
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Delacorte Press
• Format: Hardcover
• Pages: 229
• Language: English

Reviews

[Sam@WLABB]

This is my first, ever, audiobook. I thought the narrator did a great job capturing the emotion and I loved her "boy" and "dad" voices, they made me smile.

This story is told during Ruby's sophomore year of high school. We are right there with her, as she tries to understand and manage her relationships; those with boys, her friends, her peers, and her parents. During this time, Ruby begins to experience panic attacks, and starts seeing Dr. Z. Dr. Z gives her "homework", which prompts Ruby to create the Boyfriend List. Her current maladies are intertwined with her recollections of each "boyfriend" on the list.

I liked Ruby, a lot, and I hurt, when she hurt, and wanted only good things for her. By the end of the book, Ruby was not transformed. She did not do a full 180. However, she did grow and change, in the right direction. I was so proud of her for taking chances, and doing the soul searching that enabled her to make some changes. She also realized that she was not where she wanted to be, and that a really mature realization.

I look forward to Junior year with Ruby.

[Joséphine]

Initial thoughts: E. Lockhart's organization of the book was very clever. Writing a story based on a list while still keeping the story straight with a non-linear plot can't be easy. Yet she pulled it off remarkably well. In some ways, it made me think of Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison. Perhaps because at this point, feel like reading throwbacks to my early teenage years. I might not have experienced all these things but I sure well knew people who did.

Ruby was a quirky yet relatable character. I had a lot of empathy for her because of the position she was in — (legitimately) misunderstood by her friends, left to fend for herself against bullying, while trying to survive day to day in high school. All this while trying to grapple with her panic attacks.

The Boyfriend List could've had more depth though, given that that Ruby's story revolved around recounting 15 guys and other events to her psychiatrist. Despite some metafictive elements, I thought that as a reader, I wasn't pulled enough into Ruby's world.

[Katie King]

**3 Stars**

Ruby Oliver is having a rough time. Her boyfriend dumps her for her friend but then kisses her at a dance, thus starting a shitstorm that engulfs her life. Ruby starts having panic attacks, and her mom makes her see a therapist. This book reads as an account of her time in therapy, where she discusses a "boyfriend list" that she wrote.

The Boyfriend List is one of those books it seems like everyone likes. Check Goodreads and there are piles of 4- and 5-star reviews. People talk about how hilarious they think Ruby is and how relatable Lockhart made her. Reflecting on this book, I didn't understand their reaction. I didn't think Ruby was particularly funny. I thought she was a stereotypical "alternative, vintage-loving reader" high school girl. Nothing in this book is new or exciting. Almost everything that happens to Ruby is essentially a consequence of her own inaction. She bitches and moans and cries but she does absolutely nothing to change her circumstances. The quote above from the book is right: she never does anything.

And yet, I didn't think this novel was that bad. My pet peeve is when people think they have the all the facts and don't, so when Kim, Nora, and Cricket wouldn't talk to her, and the bitchy girls would call her names and spread rumors, I felt myself getting a little upset. Especially because Ruby's frustration at not being heard felt so familiar. When Jackson kissed her at the dance and then backtracked when caught, I felt betrayed. When Kim spread around the boyfriend list and started all the gossip, I was shocked and hurt. When Noel squeezed her hand in the lunch line, I felt the glimmer of hope that things would be okay. Point is, Lockhart got me and I didn't even realize it until I started this review. I don't know if I should be impressed at how sneaky she was or embarrassed I wrote it off so early. Maybe both.

Some of Ruby's friends were pretty one-dimension, but I liked Kim. Although necessarily a bitch, before that she was fun, loyal, yet imperfect. Ruby's parents were totally crazy but I loved them. They weren't there to merely serve a function like most YA parents.

There were some things I didn't like. The footnotes were a nice touch, but some of them were really excessive. Footnotes should not have full conversations that spill into the next page's footnotes. Put that in the story. Another thing I didn't like is a lot of the "boyfriends" shouldn't have been on that list. One was made-up, a few were just rumors, and a few were just people she had superficial, baseless crushes on. Hardly enough to make an impact on her life. Although I guess maybe they were important to the therapeutic process, trying to recognize her patterns with guys she likes.

The ending was also a little boring for me. While not your usual "everything works out perfectly" young adult ending, it's almost to the extreme were exactly nothing happens besides Ruby riding off into the sunset of California with her mom. Again, keeping with the theme of Ruby does nothing to help herself.

Summary
I started this book with high expectations, which quickly fell as I read. I had imagined an unfavorable review, even as I looked back on my reading, but in actually writing, I realized I liked this one a lot more than I had thought. The drawn-out footnotes and helpless character known as our main protagonist detract from enjoyment, but all in all, this one is really quite solid. High-school drama, kisses, rumors, and more, Lockhart writes of a high-school I left years ago, but can so easily recall with her words.
 

[lisacee]

Cute book, but eh.

[Amanda]

Original review: http://onabookbender.com/2012/04/04/review-the-boyfriend-list-by-e-lockhart/

Ruby’s voice throughout the book is what made this story so enjoyable for me. She is wry and funny and not full of angst. Well, there is angst. But it’s wrapped up in enough humor that it isn’t as bad as it could have been. Her narrative jumps all over the place, going from the past to the not so recent past to the present. I like my stories a little bit more linear, so this was one aspect I didn’t like. I usually knew at what point in time Ruby was referring to, though sometimes I got frustrated and just wanted the story to move forward. In many ways, Ruby talks around what actually happened (i.e., the events that led her to “write” the book), dropping hints and bits and pieces along the way.

I was never very boy crazy when I was younger, so Ruby typifies a stereotypical teenage girl for me. I feel like The Boyfriend List was truly meant for a YA audience (or at least, one who can appreciate the teenage perspective, as I seem incapable of doing). This means that while The Boyfriend List won’t make any of my favorites list, it will grace the lists of others. I genuinely enjoyed The Boyfriend List, but I didn’t love it.

There is a wealth of lessons and dealing with life as a teenager in The Boyfriend List. Through talking with her shrink, Ruby learns to recognize certain traits about herself that lead to anxiety. Like passive aggressiveness and insecurity. Passive aggressiveness, especially, is an issue that is of particular importance because it does not solve relationship issues (of any kind) and actually can create more problems. I have actually seen this happen. Though these things were addressed, I don’t know that they were necessarily resolved to my satisfaction. Part of me wonders if the next book(s) in the series works more on this.

Overall, The Boyfriend List is a fun read that is easily devourable — I finished it in two separate sittings. While not for me, The Boyfriend List is well-written and will surely delight others. There is kissing, groping, and references to sex.

[Jo]

I fancied a book full of humour, and so picked The Boyfriend List up thinking that it would be pretty funny. What surprised me is that not only was it hilariously funny, but it was also a fairly serious book too.

A series of events - which I'd like to say I believe are mostly not her fault - happen following Ruby's split with her boyfriend Jackson, which lead to Ruby going from being fairly popular to the bottom of the food chain with everyone laughing, whispering and being complete gits to her. Her whole world is turned upside down over a series of days, and she gets so stressed it leads to panic attacks - and lots of them. There were times when my heart just broke for her, because her friends were just being unjustifiably mean, and there were such levels of betrayal that just astounded me. No wonder she had panic attacks and needed therapy!

As all her problems seem to evolve around boys, her therapist gets her to write a list of all the boys there has been any kind of romantic - though I use that word a little loosely - and try to work out what her actual problems are, and so goes the story. As I said this book is also extremely funny, despite the fact that there is a lot of pain. Ruby's personaility just shines through the whole novel, and even the most awkward of situations are written with Ruby's humour shining through. A magazine described the book as "agonizingly funny", and that sums the book up perfectly.

I can't really say much more without spoiling the book, but it's just brilliant! I highly recommend you go out and buy this book! I absolutely loved it! Frotunately, I have the sequel, The Boy Book already, and I'm jumping right in. You should definitely buy TheBoyfriend List!

From Once Upon a Bookcase - YA book blog