Super Sassy Publishing

I'm Only Talking to My Cat Today

I'm Only Talking to My Dog Today

Thank Goodness I Don't Have to Hunt for My Own Food. I Don't Even Know Where Tacos Live

This "killing Them with Kindness" Is Taking Way Longer Than I Expected

My Bed Is a Magical Place Where I Suddenly Remember Everything I Was Supposed to Do

I Can't Believe How Old People My Age Are

Instead of Saying "have a Nice Day" I Think I'll Start Saying "have the Day You Deserve"

Honestly, I Don't Even Play an Active Role in My Life Anymore... Things Just Happen & I'm Like "oh, Is That What We're Doing Now? Ok"

You're the Reason This Country Has to Put Directions on Shampoo

My Life Is 50% Wondering If It's Too Late to Drink Coffee and 50% Wondering If It's Too Early to Drink Alcohol

I Came. I Saw. I Made It Awkward

People Are Assholes. Just Make Sure You're Not the Toilet Paper

Do You Remember When I Asked for Your Opinion?

Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Trying

Fucking Killing It as Always

Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone

I Finally Quit Drinking for Good. Now I Drink for Evil

Sleeping Is My Drug, My Bed Is My Dealer and My Alarm Clock Is the Police

If Cursing Like a Motherfucker Burned Calories I'd Weigh Like Eight Fucking Pounds

You Are Either on My Side, by My Side, or in My Fucking Way. Choose Wisely

#hustling

Who the Fuck Took My... Oh, Here It Is...

Apparently "spite" Is Not an Appropriate Answer to "what Motivates You?"

My Phone Doesn't Correct Me When I Type the Word "fuck" Anymore. I Think We've Bonded