EBookObsessed
Written on Jan 4, 2016
We had gotten hints of a romance gone wrong between Kit and Noah back in Rock Addiction. Here we learn that from the beginning of Kit’s friendship with the guys of Schoolboy Choir there was always a stronger draw between her and Noah. They started spending more and more time alone together and Kit felt that they were moving forward romantically. Noah invited her to his room after a show and she believed that was an indication they would take the next step. When she used her key to the room, what she walked into was Noah in bed with a groupie. Kit’s heart was shattered by his betrayal.
Noah set Kit up to find him with the groupie so that he could put to rest any further thoughts by Kit for a real relationship with Noah. We quickly come to realize that Noah had some kind of sexual abuse in his past, before he met Fox at boarding school at the age of 7, and that sex for him is twisted and not a show of love.
Noah, the bad boy of Schoolboy Choir, is with a different groupie almost every night not for the attention but simply for the physical release that will allow him to quiet his demons for a few hours so he can sleep. Noah has never ever kissed anyone. While we know that something happened, it is not until the very end that he has courage to confess his dark secret to Kit. He carries this secret as his own failing and feels that Kit must never know about it.
Noah knows that he hurt Kit by setting her up and although he is remorseful, he knows he can’t give her what she wants. He love Kit and he needs her, but he doesn’t know how to get back to just being friends until the night Noah drunk dials Kit and she fears that Noah has gone off the deep end. He usually doesn’t drink to excess and she finds him surrounded by empty bottles with a vial of some drug nearby.
Although Kit knows that she is risking further disappointment and heartbreak, she agrees to be Noah’s friend so she can make sure he never gets to that point of using drugs again.
It is heartbreaking to watch Noah and Kit try to keep a distance from each other and yet see how perfect they are for each other. They are so busy protecting themselves, they aren’t really listening to each other the way we the readers are hearing them. Noah tells Kit how important she is to him but that he can’t ruin what they have with sex. Yes, we understand that Noah has a deep dark secret that is screwing with his brain and it takes Kit much longer to catch on that Noah has a twisted view of sex. When he first tells her, all she can hear is that Noah screws every groupie but doesn’t desire her enough or want her. Her brain is fogged up by her hurt to understand that Noah loves her but can’t see sex as something good between people who love.
When Kit attends a function with Noah and their chemistry is caught on camera, the press start announcing a secret love affair is blooming between the two. Kit refuses to use Noah to further her own career, but when her PR rep goes directly to Noah, he agrees to pose as the new IT couple to help further Kit’s chances for a big part. They both know that the biggest risk is Noah keeping away from the groupies. While being a highlighted couple with boost Kit’s desirability, Noah being caught with a groupie could ruin her.
It is once Kit and Noah spend more time in close quarters, while Noah tries to find ways around his sex as a sleeping pill need, that Kit finally starts to see that Noah has deeper and darker issues and works on adjusting her thinking so that maybe she and Noah could make a real go at life together even if it doesn’t involve sex.
THOUGHTS:
If you are looking for a happy, make you feel good romance, this ain’t it. This story is full of angst and will make you scream “just talk to her (him)” more than once.
Your heart bleeds for both of these characters. Their love for each other and their connection to each other is perfect. Kit struggles with the feeling of being less to Noah and she can’t see past what she feels is his lack of desire for her.
Noah’s story is heartbreaking both what happened to the small helpless boy and then to his family’s reaction. All of this leads Noah to feelings of inadequacy since he couldn’t protect himself. Even at six, he feels he should have been man enough to stop what happened, and that failing has effected his ability to connect with anyone outside of the guys of Schoolboy Choir, even thought the only one who knows the truth is Fox.
At first Noah becomes very mercenary in his need to keep Kit close. He believes he can fake things with her but she isn’t fooled and this is more betrayal which sets back the relationship. Once she realizes that Noah has a twisted sense of sex and that something awful must have happened to him, it is amazing how creative they become in working around his issues until they finally manage to create a real romantic relationship.
Although this is an angsty read, it is truly a beautiful story of two people loving each other enough to fight the demons of the past and create a wonderful life together.
Narrator Justine O. Keef does a great job drawing you into the story and feeling the turmoil of these characters.
Received a review audiobook from Tantor Media in exchange for an honest review.
