The Opposite of Love

by Julie Buxbaum

When successful twenty-nine-year-old Manhattan attorney Emily Haxby ends her happy relationship just as her boyfriend is on the verge of proposing, she can't explain to even her closest friends why she did it. Somewhere beneath her sense of fun, her bravado, and her independent exterior, Emily knows that her break-up with Andrew has less to do with him and more to do with her. Whilst the holiday season looms and Emily contemplates whether she has made a huge mistake the rest of her world begins to unravel.She is assigned, by a boss who can't keep his hands to himself, to a multimillion-dollar lawsuit where she must defend the very values she detests. Grandpa Jack, a charming, feisty octogenarian and the person she cares most about in the world is deteriorating with the onset of Alzheimer's and her emotionally distant father leaves her to cope with this alone. And underneath it all, fading memories of her dead mother continue to remind her that love doesn't last for ever. As Emily takes control of her life and comes to terms with issues she didn't even know she had, she finally realizes that what she wanted was there all along...

• ISBN10: 0385341229
• ISBN13: 9780385341226
• Publish Date: 29 January 2008 (first published 1 January 2008)
• Publish Status: Remaindered
• Out of Print: 28 August 2012
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Dial Press
• Format: Hardcover
• Pages: 306
• Language: English

Reviews

[Sam@WLABB]

This book is about a women, who lost herself for a little while, in order to find herself.

This book begins with Emily looking great on paper -- 29 years old with a doctor boyfriend, who wants to marry her, and a 5 year associate at one of the top law firms in the city. In reality, she is emotionally stunted, hates her job, carrying the emotional baggage of her mother's death and her father's hands off parenting. As her burdens grow, she starts searching and searching for answers to why she did the things she did, and begins to work on herself.

I totally connected with the hollow feeling our heroine described. How many of her expectations fell flat, and she was left disappointed. I found myself very vested in Emily's life and her love life. I shed some tears as I rode her emotional roller coaster.

I am a fan of Buxbaum's style. She blends the heartfelt and sad, while balancing it out with humor.

[Leah]

When Emily Haxby suddenly dumps her boyfriend of two years Andrew, just as he’s about to propose, she can’t explain why to anybody, not even to Andrew or her close friends, not really. Once Emily realises her mistake, though, it’s too late and her life soon begins falling apart. She’s fed up of working for a lecherous boss, particularly when he assigns her to a case she doesn’t feel right defending. Then the biggest blow of all comes, her Grandpa Jack, the man she adores most in the world, appears to have something wrong with him. As Emily tries to pull her life back together, and realises she may have some deep-seated issues to deal with, will she finally realise that perhaps what she wanted has been there all along?

I first heard of The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum a while back, and I know it came highly recommended – by Marian Keyes, no less. I finally got around to buying myself a copy in January of this year, but when I started to read the book it didn’t hold my attention much and I always just left it on the shelf for a later date. However her new one was coming out and I decided it was probably high time I gave the book a real go because it sounded fantastic and a book that would be right up my alley.

The Opposite of Love does begin fairly slowly. I mean the Prologue does pull you in, and the first line of Chapter One does even more so: “Last night I dreamt that I chopped Andrew up into a hundred little pieces, like a Benihana chef, and ate them, one by one. He tasted like chicken.” I mean, come on, that’s a fairly intriguing start, no? But after that the book seems to slow down, mostly due to the fact that it’s so hard to get to grips with Emily because she seems so detached, despite the fact the book is written entirely from her point of view. It’s clear from the off that Emily has problems; who dumps their boyfriend of two years just because he’s going to propose? Exactly. Despite my cold feelings towards Emily, I did persevere as I liked the story but it was the developing plot featuring Emily and her Grandpa Jack that really kept me reading.

I don’t know how it happened or what page it happened, but I suddenly found myself feeling different toward the book. Emily didn’t change, not drastically anyway, but I began to understand her more, and suddenly I saw the book in a whole new light. It wasn’t too far in, either, and all of a sudden I was hooked and I could barely stop reading. There are many plot strands to the book, Emily’s work life is a big focus but it’s mainly about Emily’s inability to have a proper, adult relationship. It seems the only man Emily is able to have a relationship of any sort with is her Grandpa Jack; she doesn’t even have a real relationship with her own father. It was interesting to get to the bottom of why Emily was so bad with the men in her life, excepting Grandpa Jack, and to see if Emily could ever overcome the reasons why.

Despite the cold-fish vibe I got from Emily at the beginning of the book I did manage to like her eventually. She is definitely a ‘Marmite’ kind of character and either you’ll end up loving her or hating her. Thankfully I fall in the former category and Buxbaum manages to write Emily in such a way that I was able to love Emily eventually. Guess who my absolute favourite character was though? Yes, that’s right, folks, Grandpa Jack stole the book. He seemed to be the only presence in Emily’s life that was able to thaw her out a bit and the interaction between the two of them was so beautifully written and I kind of wished Jack was my Grandpa, too. The synopsis alludes to something being wrong with Jack and I was hoping and praying it wouldn’t be anything too serious. Not that I’m going to tell you either way. Because Emily breaks up with Andrew, we don’t see too much of him, but what I could tell about him was that he was, undoubtedly, the best thing to happen to Emily and it was a shame he wasn’t around more. Those three make up the backbone of the book but we also have Emily’s father who didn’t appear to be very good at being a father, as well as Emily’s friends and Jack’s lovely neighbour Ruth. It was a good set of characters, no doubt about that.

I will admit that the book made me cry. I knew right from the off something sad was going to happen and although I was prepared for it, it still made me cry. It was such a sad ending to the book and yet, there was still hope of some kind there. The book ended really well, sometimes a book just peters out with no explanations or anything but not The Opposite of Love. It had a very strong ending and I didn’t feel disappointed about it at all (which is such a rare feat). But what really sets apart The Opposite of Love is the fact it isn’t your run of the mill chick lit. Yes, Emily needs to ‘find herself’, something that only the American’s could do, but it doesn’t come across as false or stupid but it truly seemed that that was what Emily needed to do. There’s no ditzy best friend, or stupid love triangle, it’s a straight forward story of a woman trying to figure out her place in life and sort through some serious issues. I hugely recommend the book and furthermore I recommend you persevere if you find yourself struggling to like Emily, because she turns out good in the end!