Berls
What worked - a fantastic start to the story hooked me immediately. I was so drawn to the the poor boy! And I like the very unique world - with the terrot card "characters" being alive and real.
What didn't work - their way of figuring out who uncle Bobby was and the very casual, unhurried way they acted felt opposed to the supposed ticking clock. And the staying close for the shield to work felt like a contrived sexiness instead of an authentic one.