We Are Lost and Found by Helene Dunbar

We Are Lost and Found

by Helene Dunbar

From “the queen of heartbreaking prose” (Paste) Helene Dunbar, We Are Lost and Found is a young adult realistic fiction novel in the vein of The Perks of Being a Wallflower about three friends coming-of-age against the backdrop of the AIDS crisis in the early 1980s.
Michael is content to live in the shadow of his best friends, James and Becky. Plus, his brother, Connor, has already been kicked out of the house for being gay and laying low seems to be Michael’s only chance at avoiding the same fate.
To pass the time before graduation, Michael hangs out at The Echo where he can dance and forget about his father’s angry words, the pressures of school, and the looming threat of AIDS, a disease that everyone is talking about, but no one understands.
Then he meets Gabriel, a boy who actually sees him. A boy who, unlike seemingly everyone else in New York City, is interested in him and not James. And Michael has to decide what he’s willing to risk to be himself.
This book is perfect for:
Readers who want stories centering gay boys coming of age Parents and educators looking for realistic historical fiction for teens Fans of Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, and Stephen ChboskyPraise for We Are Lost and Found:
“Dunbar painstakingly populates the narrative with 1980s references—particularly to music—creating a vivid historical setting... A painful but ultimately empowering queer history lesson.”—Kirkus Reviews
“It's a certain type of magic that Helene Dunbar managed with this story... A hauntingly beautiful, yet scarring story that captures the struggles of figuring out who you are while facing the uncertainties of the world, a story that should be mandatory reading for all."—The Nerd Daily
"We Are Lost and Found absolutely sparkles... she so perfectly, so evocatively captures the angst, uncertainty, and shaky self-confidence of adolescence that it might make you wince."—Echo Magazine
Optioned for a major motion picture adaptation by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's production company, Ill Kippers!

Reviewed by shannonmiz on

5 of 5 stars

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You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight .
4.5*

We Are Lost and Found is a truly moving book about a young gay man trying to discover who he is and who he wants to become at the dawn of the AIDS crisis. Here are some of the many reasons why it's worth reading:

  • • The author does an amazing job of making the reader feel like we're in the midst of 1983 New York City. I wasn't aware of the world in 1983, nor that of the struggles of the gay community dealing with the bombshell that was AIDS. But the author brings it all to life so very vividly that I found myself completely immersed in it all. I never lived in a world without AIDS, I was born just a month before this book starts. But I do remember the stigma, even a decade (or more, to be true) later. There's still stigma, if we're being honest, though there shouldn't be. But when Michael is telling his story, it's the height of stigma. In fact, AIDS is only just being referred to as such (it had previously been dubbed Gay Related Immune Deficiency, or GRID, which is just... wow. This book puts the reader in the eyes of one gay man who is terrified, yes, but all those around him who are also experiencing these same fears and uncertainties.


  • • The reader walks this journey with Michael. The book is told as a stream of thought from Michael, and it puts us firmly into his life, his feelings, his worries. We experience every emotion that Michael has living as a gay man whose family has a history of cruel and antipathetic response to this news. Michael doesn't have to guess how his parents will react to his being gay; they've already kicked out and virtually disowned his older brother Connor for the same reason. We experience the ups and downs of his friendships, his romantic desires and relationships, his fears, his hopes. His journey is presented in such a genuine, compassionate, and thoughtful way that it's impossible not to care for him.


  • • Speaking of side characters, they're all incredibly well developed. Some of them you'll adore (like Becky and James, especially) and some you'll want to throttle (Michael's garbage parents, namely) but they all feel incredibly authentic. Michael's ever-changing relationship with Connor feels so relatable for all siblings. The only relationship, ironically, that I didn't feel a huge connection to was Michael's relationship with Gabriel. He was okay and I wanted Michael to be happy, but I just didn't feel a huge connection to him.


  • • The Afterwords and Author's Note are incredibly moving. When this book was announced, I remember some backlash about whether this was the author's story to tell. After reading the afterwards from men who have lived this life and helped her with the book, and reading her own story, I think she did a tremendous job of giving a voice to these men (and gay men coming of age in this era in general), so I urge you to see for yourself.  That said, I think an ownvoices novel in a similar vein would be incredible, and I am here for that as well.


Bottom Line: Emotionally charged and full of heart and love, this is a book that is sure to stay with me for a long time.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 10 September, 2019: Finished reading
  • 10 September, 2019: Reviewed