How to Love

by Katie Cotugno

This is a love story. But it's not what you think. This is not a first kiss, or a first date. This is not love at first sight. This is a boy and a girl falling in messy, unpredictable, thrilling love. This is the complicated route to happiness that follows.

This is real. This is life. This is how to love.

Before:

Reena has loved Sawyer LeGrande for as long as she can remember. But he's never noticed her, until one day... he does. They fall in messy, complicated love. But then Sawyer disappears from their humid Florida town, leaving a devastated - and pregnant - Reena behind.

After:

Three years later and there's a new love in Reena's life: her daughter Hannah. But just as swiftly and suddenly as he disappeared, Sawyer turns up again.

After everything that's happened, can Reena really let herself love Sawyer again?

• ISBN10: 0062216368
• ISBN13: 9780062216366
• Publish Date: 24 March 2015 (first published 1 October 2013)
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: US
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
• Imprint: Collins
• Format: Paperback (US Trade)
• Pages: 416
• Language: English

Reviews

[Sam@WLABB]

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Cotugno is the queen of the messy stories, and OH BOY! This was messy. Every time I got a handle on what was going on, I learned of another thing, that threw a monkey wrench in this romance. But, you know, me + second chance romance + Katie Cotugno -- this was bound to be a great read for me, and it was.

It was so emotional, emotionally confusing, and emotionally satisfying.
• Shelby wins a spot in the BFF hall of fame, because she was not only a great friend, but also at times, the voice of reason.
• Solidad blew up the step-mother stereotype, because she was so wonderful and supportive, when Reena really needed it.
• Sawyer seemed like one thing, but wow! He was complicated. The years apart was good for them, because Sawyer had a lot of demons to work through.
• Reena was dealing with a lot after Sawyer left, and though she was suffering internally, she stayed strong on the outside, and I was so happy she was able to finally go after what she wanted.
• I was rooting for these two the whole time. I just felt like they belonged together.

Another amazing Cotugno book. You know I love her, and will always be waiting to read more of her books.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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[Bianca]

I think of how it felt to lose him, slow and painful and confusing, and how it felt to wonder if I’d ever really had him at all.

[Amber]

How To Love is an incredibly popular book in the book community, and I’m probably going to upset some people when I say that I don’t understand the hype. Like, at all. I wasn’t expecting a horrible love story in this book, considering the title and the amount of people who adore it. I was expecting a story about acceptance and friendship and motherhood, but instead I got a stupid romance and stupid main characters.My main issue with the book had to do with the characters. Reena was all right, kind of, but she also wound me right up. Sawyer, the love interest and baby daddy, was an arse who I just couldn’t deal with, and I didn’t find him charming in the slightest. Seriously, what is the appeal? Anyway, Reena was okay to begin with but then she and Sawyer cheat (with each other) not once, but TWICE. I really, really hate cheaters, and I can hold a grudge for a long time, so as soon as the second round happened I was out.

How To Love didn’t focus as much on Reena and her baby as I thought it would. I thought I was in for a lovely story about teen parenthood, but it was very much brushed over and instead the focus was on how Reena was judged for getting pregnant as a teen and out of wedlock. Which, okay, was an all right angle, but I think Cotugno could have worked Hannah, the baby, into the plot a bit more.

Another complete and utter fail in my eyes was the ending. It was just so unrealistic to me, and while I would normally be happy for Reena, I couldn’t help but scrutinise her decision and the means by which she was able to do it. How WAS she able to do it!?

I don’t understand how she had enough money to just pick up and go travelling. Especially in the USA, where travelling is hella expensive and even seasoned backpackers say that you need a huge amount of money in order to see everything that you want to see. That Reena wanted to see. I didn’t like how she just picked up Hannah and left. But, mostly, WHERE WAS THE MONEY COMING FROM?! It wasn’t even discussed and it wound me up because money. Maybe it’s because How To Love is a YA book and a lot of teenagers don’t have to worry about money at such a young age, but ugh. As someone who grew up in a household that struggled financially, this was my greatest concern.

I don’t really want to drag this review out any more than I have to, so I’ll leave it here. Sawyer is a dick and doesn’t deserve Reena, Reena is a cheating idiot (as is Sawyer) and I’m disgusted, and the ending was so unrealistic that I was rolling my eyes.

[Joséphine]

Actual rating: 2.5 stars

[bumblingbookworm]

This review was originally posted on The Bumbling Bookworm

I've gotta say, I LOVED the relationship between Reena and Sawyer. Their families were friends and business partners, and they'd known each other for as long as they can remember, but Reena's love for Sawyer was one-sided in the beginning. Their relationship was certainly disfunctional and messy when they got together in the Before, where they're haunted by a mutual personal tragedy that occurred around the same time that their relationship started. Sawyer, however, has ISSUES - he's a bit of a cliched tortured musician type. The relationship doesn't last long before he disappears, unknowingly leaving Reena pregnant in the process. In the After, it's about Sawyer trying to make amends and Reena trying to work out how she feels and what's best for her little family - her current, stable partner, or Sawyer? I won't give away the ending, but I was certainly pulling for Sawyer!

Check out the rest of my review here!

[Leah]

I’ve just finished reading How To Love by Katie Cotugno and its a novel that almost slipped through the cracks! It’s been on my Kindle a little while but I didn’t pay any attention to what it was, until I saw it on Amazon with its pretty cover and wonderful sounding synopsis so when I was looking for a new read and happened upon a novel called How To Love, I decided to have a read and realised it was the same novel as the one I’d been looking at on Amazon and decided I just had to read it!

How To Love is an amazing novel – it’s a love story, yep, but it isn’t all roses and butterflies, it isn’t a perfect love story as you expect a love story to go; Sawyer and Reena’s love story is real, proper and spans a few years, though ultimately the pay off is more than worth the wait. Reena has loved Sawyer ever since she can remember – they’ve known each other for years, but he left her in the dark a few years ago after a brief fling. Now he’s back, and Reena can hardly believe it. There’s a bit of a sticky wicket though because Reena has a daughter, Hannah, and she’s most definitely Sawyer’s, and he wants to be part of her life, but Reena isn’t sure she can trust him as far as she can throw him and if these two crazy kids are ever going to make it work, they have a lot of making up to do!

How To Love was really amazing, I loved the characters, the plot, the writing… The unique thing about this novel, apart from one of the most realistic love stories ever, is the novel is written with alternate ‘before’ and ‘after’ chapters, detailing how Reena and Sawyer’s story began back when Reena was 16 and how her life is now, with Hannah at 18. I actually found it so hard to believe Reena was only 18 – she seemed so grown up and I’d have put her early twenties at least! Sawyer, though, I know he did wrong and I know he wasn’t perfect but I loved him so much! He lit up the novel like he lit up Reena’s life. I really liked him, despite his faults.

I love how How To Love took something as simple as a love story and made it into one of my favourite reads so far this year. As the book shows, not all love stories have to be pretty and perfect to be love stories. This was messy, lives fell apart because of it, relationships faltered, someone even died, and I think that’s what made it all the more amazing. Despite the fact Sawyer left for so long, there was always that familiarity between him and Reena, that almost inevitability that these two belonged together and you rooted for them to make it work! It was simply amazing, and I implore you to read it. I can’t wait for what’s next from Katie Cotugno because this was so amazing!

[Ashley]

Nose Graze — Young Adult book reviews

How to Love could have easily been a 4—or maybe even 5—star book, but there was one massive problem: Sawyer. Sawyer literally stole those stars one by one. POOF! GONE! He just chipped away at them every time he pulled a dickhead move that made me want to pummel his face in with rocks.

How to Love started out pretty strong for me. I had kind of a morbid interest in it, very similar to My Life After Now by Jessica Verdi. Teenage pregnancy? I was curious. I wanted all the details; I wanted to know exactly how/when/why it happened. But FYI, they never actually tell us how she got pregnant. NEVER. That's what I wanted to know. We don't know when it happened, or if they used a condom or not. All we know is that she woke up with morning sickness one day.

At first, I could really relate to Reena. She was the girl who loved quiet summers playing card games and hanging out with her best friend. But all around her, people were "moving on". She lost her best friend to the drinking and partying scene. I could totally relate. Reena just wanted things to be the way they always were; she didn't want things to change. She wasn't interested in partying or any of that.

I wasn't shy, exactly. That's never what it was. I just didn't know how to do this, is all, the clang and chatter of high school.

I had no friends in tenth grade. Okay, that's dramatic. I had friends. I didn't eat lunch alone on a toilet seat or anything. Mostly, I just didn't eat lunch. I went to the library.

THAT WAS ME!!! I could totally relate.

But everything went to the dogs as soon as Sawyer stepped on the scene...

I feel like we were supposed to love Sawyer despite his faults. He was supposed to be the "bad boy" in high school who made mistakes, but then comes back and redeems himself. But I felt like I never had a reason to like Sawyer or forgive him, but I had so many reasons to hate him. Sawyer was not a nice guy. He was constantly drunk, on drugs, flirting with other girls, and dragging Reena to parties. Reena obviously hated parties, but she went along with him. And while he was out popping pills and getting drunk and hitting it up with other girls, she was hiding out in the kitchen desperately wanting to go home. EVERY TIME.

"We'll just stop by for a minute," he always said before we got there, but in the end a minute usually took an hour or more.

I didn't want to, was the problem, and so I sat on the counter in any number of kitchens, drinking warm bear out of a red plastic cup and watching the minutes go by on the digital clock on the microwave, hoping no one said anything to me as they moved through the room, and wishing I was home watching reruns with Soledad. [..] Once, I brought a book and hid in the pantry to read it.

But you know what? She always gave in. She always continued to go with him, even if she really didn't want to, and hid in pantries when she got there. So I slowly started to lose sympathy for her. How can I sympathize with a girl who puts herself through this crap? She could have told Sawyer she didn't want to go. She could have dumped his pathetic, druggie ass. But no, she didn't. She complains and fights with him, but she never breaks up with him. WHY??? As far as I saw, he had exactly zero redeeming qualities. He never had "nice" or "sweet" moments. He was always a royal jackass.

And when Reena got accepted into college, Sawyer wanted to take her out on a nice date to celebrate... But guess what... he said they had to make "a little stop" on the way.. SO HE COULD MEET WITH HIS DRUG DEALER!! And he freaking brought her along. What a dick move. That's not a date.

And in an "after" chapter, when Reena finally confronted Sawyer for leaving her without even saying goodbye, guess what he said? He actually had the balls to try to pin it on her.

"You know, what I love about all this is how conveniently you forgot that you were on your way out, too, when I left. You told me every day."

He's basically saying it's okay that he left her, because she was planning on leaving anyway... TO GO TO COLLEGE!!! That does not give him the right to just walk out without even saying goodbye. And Reena even forgives him for that because supposedly he did stop by her house before he left... as if that's enough to redeem him. So what? He still didn't say goodbye. He could have left a note, or called, or SOMETHING. But instead he just walked out for two freaking years without a word.

Long story short, Sawyer was a huge huge huge jerk, and he never did anything to make me like him. He never did nice things for Reena, he never had sweet moments. He was always high out of his mind or drunk or having sex with her. This is going to sound so "disapproving parent" of me, but he was a bad influence. He was encouraging her to do drugs and skip class. And I know some teenagers are like that, but the key thing here is that Reena didn't want to do those things, and yet he kept pressuring her to. There was never a reason for Reena to like him.. she just did. It was pure lust, as far as I'm concerned. And on top of that, she had a great guy in the "after" chapters, but she ditched him to go running back to Sawyer. Why???

As Sawyer became more and more of a dick, he knocked stars off my rating. As Reena kept running back to him, I lost sympathy for her. At first I felt bad for her because Sawyer ran out on her... but now... honestly.... she kind of had it coming. She stayed with this guy when he was nothing but disrespectful to her. He was always a flaky boyfriend, so it's no surprising that he just up and left one day.

I feel like How to Love has all the makings of a really good book. It's well written, I like the alternating "before" and "after" chapters, and it's an interesting story. But it is completely ruined by Sawyer. He was a horrible character and slowly made me detest the book. And since Reena kept running back to him, I started to detest her as well. She also had this really annoying habit of raging at Sawyer for being a dick, and then when he'd say "What's wrong? Are you mad?" she'd lie and say nothing was wrong. So he'd be out flirting with other girls, she'd start acting bitchy towards him, he'd ask what the problem was, and she'd say NOTHING. She just let everything go and never stood up for herself.

If, somehow, you don't detest Sawyer, then I think it's really easy to love this book. But if you get as annoyed with his horrible doucheyness as I did, then it's kind of a book-ruiner. The problem is that How to Love is ALL about the romance and loving and all that, but when you have a horrible love interest, that just makes the book painful to read.