ladygrey
Written on May 20, 2016
First of all because Maggie just keeps getting powers that are super special with no explanation. Normally, I am the defender of the Mary Sue but this annoyed even me.
Also there were several wild emotional shifts with no explanation. Characters are ok with things and then yelling at each other. And the arguments are so ridiculous - like fighting over the "powerful" main character getting sick from standing in the rain. I wanted more consistency and more logical transitions in the emotional shifts.
There's no explanation around Maggie being the Visionary. They talk about how they've heard stories since they were young. And I think there's all sorts of legends around it. But they never tell any of the stories or give any substance to the mythology. And Kyle and Caleb are all spellbound when the first see her but no one else is and there's no explanation for that either.
I also wanted a little more real world authenticity. Crane can make up all supernatural rules she wants and even use them to bend the real world. But it annoyed me that she got the little things wrong like the characters renting movies from Netflix. Or people drinking poultices. There's another gap I expect her to get wrong in the third book just based on her track record in this one. But I'm not going to read it and find out.
Because the most annoying thing was how poorly it's edited. There's sentences missing words. And extra words in other places. There's chapters where they wake up and have breakfast and there's one other scene and then they're ordering dinner. And when asked about the other scene it happened "last night." In general the sense of time wasn't logical.
I almost would have kept reading. But if you want me to pay $4.99 for your book than you need to take the time and effort to give me a book that is at least trying to be worth even half that.
