Kill the Farm Boy: The Tales of Pell (Tales of Pell, #1)

by Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson

"Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born...and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed"--

• ISBN10: 152479774X
• ISBN13: 9781524797744
• Publish Date: 17 July 2018
• Publish Status: Out of Stock
• Imprint: Del Rey Books
• Format: Hardcover
• Pages: 384
• Language: English

Reviews

[MurderByDeath]

I don't even know how to start talking about this book.  It's insane.

I first heard about it from Irresponsible Reader and I've been enjoying Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid Chronicles for a few years.  And it's subtitle sold me:

Once A Pun A Time...

So I was expecting a funny read and I was expecting the puns, but I wasn't at all expecting the sheer enormity of innuendo and entendres: double, triple - possibly quadruple, but I suspect some of it went over my head as I struggled now to drown in the Monty Python-esque silliness of it all.  Examples include a chapter involving the band of unlikely heroes traveling through the elven Morning Wood, with more innuendo, puns and entendres than you can possibly imagine, and later in the book a trip to a pub called Balzac's, where the chef is the famous "wrinkled Balzac", and the house speciality is candied nuts.

It's quite frequently over-the-top, but it's still hilarious and sometimes sweet and a little bit shocking in unexpected ways.  My favorite character was Gustave, the talking goat, by a large margin, though the rest of the band of unlikely adventurers all have their own charms too.  

It's incredibly well-written and it's obvious the authors had a good time writing it, but Luke Daniels did an exceptional job narrating this book.  This is one of those rare instances where I think the reader would lose something by reading a physical copy.  Daniels owns this book and the characters in it, reading it like a dramatisation.  I recommend the audio unreservedly for anyone looking for a goofy good time.

[tweetybugshouse]

If you enjoy the humor of Monty Python and fairy tales then this book will be right up your alley. The book is a light-hearted romp through fairy tales spun up roaringly on their heads. The cast of characters pretty much tells you this not meant to be a serious fantasy story. Yours supposed to laugh and shake your head as you read along.

The story takes place in the land of Pell, where an unlucky soon to bed dead farm boy lives. He sent on a quest to save a sleeping princess from a tower and an evil character who wants his heart. Then you have a bard without a tune in her heart but an adorable fuzzy tail, an assassin who is deathly afraid of chickens, and a mighty fighter who sports a chain-mail bikini. The group will also gain a trash-talking goat and dread necromancer named Steve. This not your normal fairy tale group but they will have a strange and wondrous journey through Pell to a fairy tale ending you will never see coming.

This is not my normal kind of story and it did take me a bit to get into it. You also have to realize that not everything in this book is there to support the plot. They are merely meant to be humorous and expand your knowledge of Pell. The funniest part I think is that the Dread Necromancer Steve is in no way an intricate part of the story but with the way the characters trash talk on him it makes you want to hate him just as much as the rest of the crazy cast does.

This is one of those books you have to pick up and give a chance and remember that it meant to be over the top and that it to be humorous and you should be laughing and shaking your head at the antics that are being portrayed on the pages. The next book is another story that based in Pell but this one will be about Gnomes and sure it will be just as funny as this one is. Pick this up as a fun read to get lost in and share the antics with your other Monty Python loving friends you won’t regret it.

[Quirky Cat]

Kill the Farm Boy is a hilarious and irreverent beginning to an all-new series called the Tales of Pell. If the first novel is anything to go by, the entire series is bound to be wholly unique. The novel is a play on the classic chosen one quest, only with a whole lot of twists thrown in. If you’re looking for a fairy tale that’ll make you snort with laughter, then this is the series for you.
The series is actually written by a pair of authors – something you don’t see every day. Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne teamed up to bring us this utterly capricious and comical world. I’ll confess that I’m quite the fan of Delilah Dawson’s works, which is what tempted me with this series to begin with.
If I was giving out awards, I would give Kill the Farm Boy the award for funniest novel. Seriously, I could not stop laughing while reading this one. I ended up highlighting more sections than I ever have in any other novel, simply because I enjoyed them so much.


I cannot believe how much Kill the Farm Boy made me laugh. It honestly wasn’t something that I was aware that I needed, but having read it I’m really grateful that I did. Everything about this book was witty and funny and so on point with the comedic timing. I couldn’t have asked for more.
The description of this book compares itself to Terry Pratchett and the Princess Bride, and honestly, I have to agree (though I’d say it fits the movie a bit more than the book for the latter). It was inane, silly, and whimsical with a fair amount of frequently.
It also wasn’t afraid to call itself out on things, or to play around with modern debates and topics. I was highly amused by the whole process, to be honest.
The whole story kicks off with a character being identified as a chosen one, but things quickly spiral out of control. With a talking goat, a vegetarian giantess, a woman-bunny, and a dark lord who’s really more of a crepuscular lord, there’s a whole lot of weirdness that happens within these pages.
I know I said it already, but I can’t tell you how many times this book literally made me laugh (or snort) out loud. It’s been ages since I read a book that did that to me. I’m sure I looked like a right idiot too, since I was reading this in public at one point (books are a great way to make convention lines more bearable, aren’t they?).
Despite all the humor and joking around, there really was a plot to this book. Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne just had a little fun along the way is all. There are plenty of dangerous and dark moments to be had here – don’t doubt it.
There’s also a romantic subplot, and dozens of twists and turns in this plot. It turns out that nothing is quite what it seems here, even the talking goat. Which is hard to believe, I know. But trust me.
I was actually sad when this novel ended, because I enjoyed it so. Luckily the next novel in the series, No Country for Old Gnomes, is due out very soon (actually, by the time this review goes live it might already be out).


For more reviews, check out Quirky Cat's Fat Stacks

[kimbacaffeinate]

First, I must give Luke Daniels the narrator of this tale accolades. Bravo! How did you not burst out laughing every five minutes?  Daniels range of voices and ability to deliver this tongue-in-cheek tale was brilliant. He brought the humor up a notch and endeared me to these odd characters. Now, please share the bloopers and outtakes!

You might like Kill the Farm Boy if:

• You enjoy puns, slapstick humor and excessive talks of poo, phalluses, and cheese. Both Hearne and Delilah are known for their humor and nods to fandoms in their writing but here it's no holds barred. Puns, parodies and spoofs abound. For example, the elvish village of "Morning Wood" and the lavish descriptions of food! If euphemisms and innuendos aren't your thing, you might want to pass.


• You know your fairy tales and will recognize and appreciate the nods and parodies contained within the kingdom of Pell.  You will find Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel,  and the Princess Bride to name a few weaved into this story. I found these bits entertaining and laughed aloud more than once.


• You're not planning on devouring this in a few sittings. Usually with Hearne and Daniels' audiobooks I jump in and devour them in a day or two. It took me a  week to listen to Kill the Farm Boy. When I listened in smaller takes, I enjoyed the humor more. It's over the top and sometimes borders on ridiculous. When I listened for longer lengths, I got distracted or missed more subtle references. So pacing is everything to appreciate all the mentions, puns and spoofs.


• You love unusual characters with odd quirks. An unlikely group of companions begin a quest to save a dead farm boy. The tale begins when a young farm boy, named Worstly, learns he is the chosen one. Gustave, a talking goat, is his companion.  As Worstly sets out to fulfill his destiny Gustav berates him. Fia, a seven-foot warrior wearing the most unusual chain-mail carries an enchanted sword whose bloodthirsty she must control. Fia accidently kills the farm boy and thus our tale begins. Argabella, the half-rabbit half-woman bard joins them, long with Toby, the carb eating, Dark Lord who craves artisan crackers. Rounding out the group is Poltro, a pitiful rogue who is afraid of chickens and Grinda the sand witch who is plagued with issues.  Then we have secondary characters like Staph the fairy whose wand is covered in flem and Steve the Necromancer who everyone hates.  I liked that the cast was largely made up of women and Pell offers a diverse landscape.


• You can see past the slapstick humor and appreciate the character growth and complexity of the story. Jokes, and innuendos aside, the story is well-developed and clever. Strengthened by their companions we witness individual growth and friendships.


• You want to see every element of fairy tales and fantasy turned on its head. Honestly, I think they hit every one!


• You long to see a Troll get his ass handed to him.

This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Reviewer

[Melanie]

Review originally posted at BooksOfMyHeart.net.

3.5 stars

I’m a huge Kevin Hearne fan, so I had no problems grabbing up this first book in his new, Tales of Pell series I haven’t read Delilah S. Dawson before, but she has been on my radar to try for some time (I really need more time to read all the books on my radar, said every booklover in the world). I was even more excited when it was announced Luke Daniels was going to do the narration.

So Kill the Farm Boy hits pretty much every fantasy trope and a ton of fairytale mentions, too. If you’re a fan of dad jokes, this is a book you will love. There are so many dad jokes. And puns. More puns that you can imagine. Some are pretty groan worthy, if you like that sorta thing, then look no further.

Basically, here’s our ragtag group:
- Poltro, the rogue. She has a huge fear of chickens, but isn’t scared of anything else. She’s also a bit of clutz.

- Argabella, is a bard. When we come across her, she’s living in a castle where everyone else is asleep. She’s a bard because that is what her father wanted. She wants to be an accountant. Oh, and she’s half bunny.

- Fia is a warrior. She’s huge, like seven foot tall. She’s also a vegetarian, but has a sword that craves blood. She just wants to raise roses. Oh, and she wears a chainmail bikini.

- Toby is a really bad wizard. He calls himself a “Dark Lord”, but the title doesn’t really fit him (that’s the point). Most of his powers come from shooting bread from his fingers. He has quite the obsession with cheeses.

- Gustave is a goat, who is given the ability to talk early in the story. He has quite an obsession with his poo (there is much talk of spreading pellets) and old boots for him to eat.

Other characters:
- Grinda, the sand witch (yes, you read that right).
- Staph, the pixie with one blue sock.
- Worstley, the farm boy, also known as”Pooboy” and his brother, Bestly.
- The dreaded necromancer, Steve.
- Also, trolls, elves, giants, talking animals (in addition to Gustave) and more.

The marketing says it is similar to Terry Prachett (which I’ve never read) and The Princess Bride (which I haven’t read, but LOVED the movie) story. I will say because I wasn’t very familiar with either of these books, I didn’t know what I was getting into. This book is full of satire, which is something I’m just not a huge fan of. It is a little over the top. I think Monty Python or Mel Brooks comparisons could’ve been used in the marketing.

“Assassins Anonymous. They teach you how to follow the One Step for Not Murdering Someone.”

“What’s the one step?” Gustave asked.

“You don’t murder them.”

“Huh. Sounds like a solid program with a refreshing lack of nuance.”

“Is Poltro okay?” she asked.

“If you mean, is Poltro asleep and probably as stupid as ever, then I would say definitely yes.”

I liked this book, but didn’t love it. I think some of the jokes and puns were just a little too much for me. I think some jokes ran on a little too long (I have this same issue with Family Guy. I hate that stupid rooster). I think I also hyped myself to love it so much, that I might have been a bit disappointed (something I’m familiar with here too). I start reading, expecting it to blow my mind and when it doesn’t, I feel a little let down. I shouldn’t.

This is a fun book. I enjoyed it. I came to love the characters fairly quickly (some faster than others, but I did enjoy the entire team by the end). I really want to see where they go from here. I will probably read the next book, more for the characters than some of the silly puns and stuff. I know there are a lot of people who really love that stuff. For me, this story was more over the top than I would like, but like I said, the characters are worth it. I know I’m being a bit wishy washy here, but that’s kinda how I feel.

Narration
To anyone who has listened to Luke Daniels narrate any book, you know he is a rock star. He really nails the narration. There are a ton of talking animals, there is part-bunny woman who sings, there are trolls and pixies and more. So many different characters and he nailed them all. He really brought out all the emotions of each character. You could really feel Gustave’s love of boots and Toby’s love for cheeses. Luke Daniels really brings this story to life.

[Beth C.]

UPDATE: I like the audio MUCH better. Luke Daniels, as ever, is a master at bringing the story and the characters to life.

I have thoughts. I'm not quite ready to share them yet. Soon, my pretties...soon.

Ok...it's been soon enough. So, the short version is this - it was fun, though not as funny as I had been expecting. It was definitely more *risque* than I had anticipated, though nothing offensive...just surprising. I enjoyed it, will probably read the second one, but will wait and see after that.