If You Could Be Mine

by Sara Farizan

Seventeen-year-old Sahar has been in love with her best friend, Nasrin, since they were six. They've shared stolen kisses and romantic promises. But Iran is a dangerous place for two girls in love--Sahar and Nasrin could be beaten, imprisoned, even executed if their relationship came to light. So they carry on in secret--until Nasrin's parents announce that they've arranged for her marriage. Nasrin tries to persuade Sahar that they can go on as they had before, only now with new comforts provided by the decent, well-to-do doctor Nasrin will marry. But Sahar dreams of loving Nasrin exclusively--and openly. Then Sahar discovers what seems like the perfect solution. In Iran, homosexuality may be a crime, but to be a man trapped in a woman's body is seen as nature's mistake, and sex reassignment is legal and accessible. As a man, Sahar could be the one to marry Nasrin. Sahar will never be able to love the one she wants in the body she wants to be loved in without risking her life. Is saving her love worth sacrificing her true self?

• ISBN10: 1616202513
• ISBN13: 9781616202514
• Publish Date: 20 August 2013 (first published 1 July 2013)
• Publish Status: Out of Print
• Out of Print: 1 July 2021
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Algonquin Young Readers
• Format: Hardcover
• Pages: 248
• Language: English

Reviews

[Jo]

2.5 Stars.

Originally posted on Once Upon a Bookcase.

I've had If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan for a while. It's one I wanted to read because it sounded like it would be an incredible book, but also one I've been putting off because the subject matter had me thinking it would be a difficult read. And although I didn't hate it, I wasn't really a huge fan of it, either. Though this is because I didn't like what the characters were doing, I guess the book did it's job?

Sahar has been in love with her best friend Nasrin ever since they were six years old, but because homosexuality is illegal in Iran, to the extent that sometimes leads to death. their relationship is kept secret. But when Nasrin's parents arrange a marriage for her, the two have more to deal with than just the prospect of being caught. But when Sahar meets Parveen, a friend of her cousin Ali's, she thinks she's found the answer. Parveen is transsexual, and Sahar discovers while being gay is illegal, being trans is not; it's seen an illness, a biological mistake, and transgender people can receive reassignment surgery for free. Sahar decides if she can't be with Nasrin as a girl, she will become a man for her. But is her love worth changing who she is?

So I had problems with Sahar's attitude towards her transitioning into a man. I completely understood why she wanted to go down that path - there was no other way she could be with Nasrin - but at the same time, she just completely takes advantage of people and resources for actual transgender people. She has moments of real selfishness, where, at a support group for trans people, she wants those talking to hurry up and finish so she can speak, and ask about how she can begin transitioning. She does feel for the people she meets, for maybe a split second, but mainly she's thinking about herself. She takes advantage of Parveen's friendship, is almost without empathy for the trans experience that it doesn't even really occur to her that what she is doing is wrong. And that just didn't sit right with me.

Saying that, like Sahar, I was surprised to find that Katayoun, a trans woman Sahar meets through the support group, not only accepts how her country treats gay people, but is all for it. I know gender identity and sexual orientation are not really related, but I would have thought those who are discriminated against - and trans people are discriminated against, even if being trans isn't illegal - would feel comradeship with each other, but no.

'"It's safe to... Well, to be one's self here. I mean, there is less of a chance of judgement or, I don't know, more of a chance for people who, I imagine, are sympathetic.""I'm not like them! You hear me? What they do is unnatural." She whispers as her eyes train on a table of two men giving each other affectionate glances...."I'm sorry, I thought--""Thought what? That I am the same as these... these perverts, just because I am different?"..."My illness is treatable. Their malady is a bargain made with the devil. The Republic knows that, the Koran knows that, and you damn well better know that if you are to survive in this society."'(p150-151)

I also didn't like Nasrin. She wanted - expected - her relationship with Sahar to continue after she's married, even though adultery is also illegal. She wanted to have her cake and eat it. It was like she didn't seem to fully grasp or care just how precarious their situation was, or how worse it would be if they carried on. And she herself was in some kind of denial, because she said she wasn't gay, and was judgemental around other gay people. And they way she bossed Sahar around, I just didn't feel like she really cared, despite her moments of crying and declaring how in love with Sahar she was. So it was even harder for me to excuse what Sahar was doing, because not only was she doing something terrible, she was doing it for a spoilt, entitled brat.

So I didn't like the characters or their decisions, so I didn't enjoy the story. This isn't always the case, but this time, it just wasn't one I really enjoyed. That doesn't make it a bad story however, just one that isn't for me. Do read other reviews before deciding whether or not to read If You Could Be Mine.

[layawaydragon]

It’s so sad, so real, so good in a terrific, heartbreaking way.

I felt very uncomfortable with Sarah's plan of transitioning. It’s just so wrong and ignorant and wrong. I understand the terrible fate she’s facing but damn. I KNEW that would not work out or end well. It through me for a loop how different being trans* is viewed there. They still face extreme discrimination and hardship but they aren't the sinners to be executed like gays and lesbians are. So unless you’re

I couldn't see it going any other way. And there's enough foreshadowing to make it obvious and it's unnecessary when you know the basics of what transitioning entails. The tension comes from the emotions and turmoil of Sarah and what she plans afterward it fails with zero good options for lesbians in Iran.

I felt the same way about the ending. While the situation sucks (understatement), there’s at least hope and a shot at happiness. Though it’s not perfect, it’s realistic which makes it hit all the harder.

There were great trans* characters and information. Maureen's story is heartbreaking too. I had a terrible sinking feeling when she popped up but it turned out better than I expected. I honestly thought it would be some trope filled bullshit.

There's still some involved with gender norms, but it's set up to be more thought-provoking than reinforcing. Like if Sarah is a woman without conforming, caring for "girly" things, and not feeling like one, then what makes a woman? Why is it trans* have to conform and prove themselves while cis do not?

I really loved how diverse and different the cast is.

[Heather]

The only homosexuals that Sahar has ever met are the friends of her cousin Ali. She doesn't consider herself to be anything like Ali, who is always working on his next illegal scheme. But when Ali introduces her to his transsexual friend Pavreen, Sahar gets an idea.

In Iran homosexuality is punishable by death. However, transsexuals are considered to have a disease and the government pays for sex reassignment surgery. If Sahar transitions she will be able to marry her girlfriend and live openly. Unfortunately, her girlfriend may not be strong enough to defy convention no matter what Sahar is willing to do.



This is an eye opening look at many aspects of the LGBT community in Iran. Same sex couples are allowed to hold hands in the streets because that is considered normal for friends. Support groups for transsexual people contain people who are happy to be transitioning and those forced to transition by families who feel it is better than having a gay child. Police are paid to protect parties where gay people meet openly instead of turning them in. But get caught and the punishments are swift and severe.

Sahar is blinded by her love for her girlfriend and can't see her faults. She is trying to make rash decisions without considering all the implications. This is typical teenage behavior but it can be frustrating to read because she is making huge decisions without thinking it through.

I was satisfied with the ending. I think it is realistic for the situation.This review was originally posted on Based On A True Story

[Angie]

Sahar and Nasrin are girls in love in a country where homosexuality is punishable by death. If You Could Be Mine was their sad story, as Sahar desperately tries to find a way for them to be together after Nasrin's family announces her engagement. They have obviously been keeping their relationship and feelings secret, but then Sahar's cousin introduces her to Iran's hidden LGBT community. There Sahar gets the idea to have a sex change so she can be with the woman she loves in public, since being transgender is considered a medical condition rather than a sin.

If You Could Be Mine broke my heart in places! Sahar loves Nasrin sooo much, and would do anything for her. Even go through painful surgeries and give up her identity as a woman. The operation does have more appeal to Sahar, since she'd have more freedoms as a man, but is it really worth living the lie? I didn't think so, because I (and Sahar) wanted them to be together as themselves! Yes, I desperately wanted these girls to get their fairytale ending, but I knew it was never going to happen. This isn't a Dystopian novel where the teenagers take on the unfair government and win. Their only options are to be together and get killed or let each other go to pursue their other dreams.

If You Could Be Mine is quite short, so if I say much else I'll just be giving everything away. While the story was really sad, it does end on a bit of a hopeful note. It's not a nice, neat ending with a big red bow, but there isn't one for these girls in their current situation. I really enjoyed going on this journey with Sahar as she figures out how she's going to live her life and what's worth it and what's not. I also liked being immersed in a different culture, especially one so different than the one I'm living it. It was also an interesting look at the international LGBT community, since gays are even looked down upon by the transgender people as sinners, just because their situation is illegal and immoral, while theirs is just medical. What a difference the law can make.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.

[KitsuneBae]

This review is also posted on my blog at Thoughts and Pens.

This book has a very interesting premise and the first time I read its synopsis, I instantly knew that I have to have it. This book would be my first read about LGBT. And what’s even more interesting is that it was set in Iran where being LGBT is forbidden. What can this gal do but sign up for that!

I really have high hopes for If You Could Be Mine. But after reading it, I felt kind of empty and thought that something is lacking. As I’ve said the premise was excellent and I liked the glimpses of the Iranian culture especially when it comes to women and LGBT. I can pretty much understand as to why women are prohibited to even expose their elbows and that wasn’t new to me. Here in our country, I’ve seen Muslim women practically covered from head to toe with only their eyes being exposed. What really interested me is that being lesbian or gay in Iran is prohibited but the government is willing to pay for transsexual surgery.

Sahar, our hero/heroine, is very much inlove with her bestfriend—Nasrin—that she thought of undergoing the painful surgery so that she can marry her when the time comes. She believed that everything would be easy and she can successfully prevent Nasrin from being married off to someone other than her. But as Sahar tried to pursue her plan, she realized that things are more difficult than she thought them to be.
Sahar’s story is interspersed with heartaches and inhibitions. Amidst her desperation to claim Nasrin as hers, she was also struggling to keep her family from falling apart and striving hard to get herself into University. I almost sympathized with her plight if only things were given a lot more depth and intense moments. My first impression with this book was that it would contain heavy drama that would make me cry my heart out. But alas, it was sort of relaxing. The heart wrenching moments didn’t come. And there are times that I find myself doubting Sahar’s and Nasrin’s love for each other. It was somewhat one sided, me not seeing a lot of Nasrin’s side of the story. Throughout the whole thing, it had always been Sahar who was desperately trying come up with something to snatch Nasrin from the clutches of marriage.

I was more convinced about Sahar’s problem with her dad. In a way, that saddened me for a brief period of time. I was even surprised to find Ali’s (Sahar’s gay cousin) life worthier to read. It was risky and more real. And because these things were more captivating than the lesbian love story, I felt that the whole plot was distracted. Sahar and Nasrin’s tale became a little bit secondary. Add to that was the characterization of the leads didn’t help at all to make me root for their story. To put it simply, I didn’t feel that Sahar is undergoing through an ordeal.

As my reading progressed, the plot didn’t thicken and was very predictable. I was really looking forward to see a lot of action with powerful scenes happening throughout. I would have really wanted to see Sahar being arrested or maybe the two of them eloping and face difficult consequences eventually or anything at all to convince me that there’s something worth reflecting about the whole story. The problem was, this book was too afraid to take the plunge.
I was only glad that this was a short read and normally paced. Otherwise, I would have been transported to torture land. One other thing that I liked about this book was its realistic ending. If things were just done differently, I am sure that I would immensely enjoy this story…maybe even spend a whole roll of tissue as I cry my eyes out. The concept was excellent but sadly, it just didn’t deliver.

Would I recommend this book? Sure, if you enjoy cultural based stories with an LGBT twist.

*A free copy was provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

[Linda]

*I received a free ARC of If You Could Be Mine from Alguonquin Young Readers via Netgalley in exchange of an honest review*

This and other reviews can also be found on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews

This is a very sweet and tender story of two girls in love, in Iran, where homosexuality is punishable by hanging.

If You Could be Mine is a very sweet story about two young Iranian women. They have known each other their whole lives, as their mothers were best friends as well. When they were six years old, Sahar realized she really loved Nasrin, and she even told her mother. Her mother quietly told her never to speak of that again, and that this is just not natural at all.