Snarky Is as Sarcastic Does Press

Someone Offered Me Grapes but I Declined I'm Not Used to Consuming Wine in Pill Form

Sarcasm, Because Torturing People in Your Basement Is Frowned Upon

With My Luck I'll Probably Be Reincarnated as Me

Twinkle Twinkle Little Snitch Mind Your Business Nosy Bitch

The Human Body Has 7 Trillion Nerves and Some People Manage to get on Every Single Fucking One

Remember When I Asked for Your Opinion? Me Neither

Princess? No Honey I'm a Bitch

Your Lack of Swearing Makes Me Fucking Uncomfortable

Sometimes I Wish I Was an Octopus so I Could Slap Eight People at Once

Today's Good Mood Is Sponsored by Alcohol

You Talk So Much Shit I Don't Know Whether to Offer You a Breath Mint or Toilet Paper

We All Know Someone Who Speaks Fluent Shit

Sarcasm Isn't an Attitude It's an Art

Row Row Row Your Boat Gently the Fuck Away

True Friends Don't Judge Each Other They Judge Other People Together

When I Want Your Opinion I'll Remove the Duct Tape

Please Do Not Disturb I Am Disturbed Enough Already

Yes I Walked Away mid Conversation You Were Boring Me to Death and My Survival Instincts Kicked In

Sorry for the Mean Awful Accurate Things I Said

Please Read My Notes in a Sarcastic Tone for Full Effect

On Your Mark Get Set Go Fuck Yourself

Today's Forecast Blank Stares with a 99% Chance of Awkward

When You Get Angry Take a Breath and Count to 10 Punch When You Get to 8 Nobody Expects That

The Trash Gets Picked Up Tomorrow Be Ready