James Meier

I make my mom sad with my choices every day

Ain't no hood like motherhood

I'm here for tits and beer

I'm sorry for what I said on low-carb day

To relieve stress I do yoga, just kidding. I drink wine in my yoga pants

My favorite color is no pants

Mary Poppin bottles

Global warming. It's actually sort of a thing

I don't need Google my husband knows everything

Real mermaids smoke seaweed

Can you just not

I'd hit that

Nerdy proud and a little loud

The future is hemp

Don't drink and derive

BAE Best auntie ever

I'm with wikileaks

DTF Down to fiesta!

Say perhaps to drugs

Wake up and be awesome

I'm not just a statement clerk. I'm a big cup of wonderful covered in awesome sauce with a splash of sassy and a dash of crazy

Keep calm and love rats

In dog years, I'm dead

Senior' texting code