As I Descended

by Robin Talley

[nannah]

DNF @ 20%

I was already hanging on by a thread, but when the main characters planned on drugging their classmate so she would fail a drug test and be out of the way to win the scholarship prize Maria coveted, I was out. Maria only wanted this prize to stay with her girlfriend and so she could look good for her mother, who's in politics.

And okay, so I admit I've long forgotten the details of MacBeth, but none of the characters are likable or relatable. They're all rich and cruel to each other, with the protagonist saying, a certain character was the only one who mattered or was worth her time, despite having a best friend. The protagonist's girlfriend makes fun of her old roommate having nightmares because she was never bothered by them.

The author seems very disconnected from reality. Lily, the disabled character, is practically waited on hand and foot by the staff of her high school. This Does Not Happen in any reality I've lived in. Maybe it's different now, but I've personally only faced obstacles, not privileges, unless it's people trying to help open doors or hold things for me. At least the character doesn't like all the babying. But she also receives a controlled medication for her pain, which she gives away. This is baffling. Do you know how much I'm interrogated every doctor's appointment on the use of my medication, which isn't even a TRUE controlled substance? If Lily is in enough pain to need a controlled substance, she wouldn't be "well enough" to go without it, to hand it off to someone else. Sure, this probably happens to someone in real life. But they must be a pretty darn good actor, and have to be going into their appointments with the intention to scam medication out of their doctor. It is incredibly difficult to get strong pain medication, even when you're in incredibly strong pain. Without my pain meds, I'm basically just lying on the floor in too much pain to get up. I just can't get over the fact that some of the major plot points happen because Lily is just able to go without her oxycontin.

The author is also white, and she adds these lines about slavery that just make me grit my teeth; for example, "Meanwhile, Maria and Mateo both had the Spanish names, dark eyes, and brown skin that would've kept them off those Old South plantations--unless they'd come with a price tag." Sure, that could've been just the PoV of the white character, but I'm not reading an entire novel of this.

And THEN there's the whole plot line where one of the people in a same-sex relationship wants to keep their relationship a secret and the other doesn't - and it's a big source of tension between them. It's been over done, and it's not a great trope in general.

When all these factors add up, it's just not a novel I want to continue reading.