Hell House

by Richard Matheson

[cornerfolds]

So here's the thing... When Stephen King raves about a book that's topic is the "Mount Everest of haunted houses," I expect a REALLY scary book. Hell House has even been called a horror classic! So what the heck did I just read?? It couldn't have been the book all these people, including Stephen King, have raved about! I hate to contradict the Master, but Hell House was just... not scary.

There were several problems I had with this book, one being that I really didn't like most of the characters. They all came off as either really arrogant, annoying, helpless, or a combination of those. The only character I somewhat enjoyed was Fischer, and I honestly had to just go hunt down his name because I'd forgotten it less than an hour after finishing the book, if that's any indication. Even more than that, these characters are really, really stupid. There were so many moments where I wanted to just ask them if they were serious. I cannot actually believe that anyone with a brain would do most of the things these characters did.

Another major problem I had with Hell House was the horror. Where was it? What I learned from this book is that horror = sex. (Cover your eyes, kids.) I don't even mean violence! I just mean... sex. Even between a woman and her husband. The sexy horror ranged from Edith attempting to come on to her husband, ghosty sex, lady sex, basically all the sex. was. horror. I wish I was joking. Maybe sex was terrifying in the 70s? I honestly don't know how this was considered scary. There were a few possessions (and a few had to do with sex) but they were more amusing than scary. There was a teensy bit of tension here and there, but it quickly dissipated each time.

The ending of Hell House was also a huge let down. Huge. I didn't -totally- HATE Hell House. Hate is such a strong word. I did think that Dr. Barrett's idea for conquering the house was an interesting one and I did like Fischer enough, although even he was forgettable. Ultimately, I would not recommend this book.

Actual rating: 1.5 stars