If You Stay by Courtney Cole

If You Stay (Beautifully Broken, #1)

by Courtney Cole

He's a tattooed, rock-hard bad boy with a tough attitude to match. His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with an intense guilt that he doesn't understand. What he does know is that he and his dad were left alone, and they have never been close. Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the black void in his soul. He pretends that the emptiness isn't there and this has always worked until he meets Mila.

Reviewed by Rowena on

3 of 5 stars

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I bought this book because I was in a New Adult reading mood and this was pretty cheap with an interesting blurb so I thought, “Why not?” I didn’t immediately read this book, instead holding off for a long while. When I finally read this book, it was because I got the second book in this series for review. So I dug right in.

This book starts with the hero, Pax, getting a blow job from a drugged up hooker in his car. After she finishes the BJ, he kicks her out of his car and sends her on her merry way…on foot. Miles from wherever she needed to be. So yeah, Pax is an asshole. He’s also big into drugs and after the hooker leaves, he proceeds to get high in his car and that high goes wrong.

The heroine Mila was in the park that Pax is parked at and she’s going for a walk. As she’s walking back to her car, she notices Pax’s car and when she gets closer, she sees that Pax is in trouble. He’s thrown up all over himself, he’s not breathing and she immediately jumps into action. She calls 911 and then does what anyone (not me) would have done. She gives Pax CPR, trying to revive him. I did mention that he threw up all over himself and then passed out? Alright, so …that’s quite a picture to start the story off.

So the ambulance comes and takes Pax to the hospital and because Mila is a good samaritan, she shows up at the hospital the next day to check on the druggy guy that passed out in his car. And the banter begins.

When Pax and Mila start their relationship, it felt kind of sudden. Like Mila should have taken a breather and got to know him before falling for his charm. I mean, all she knows about him is that he might be addicted to drugs and prostitutes but she jumps into a relationship with him anyway. I guess you can’t help how you feel, right?

As the story progresses, Pax falls harder and harder for Mila and he didn’t make any apologies for his feelings. He felt what he felt and that was that. Getting Mila to feel okay with her feelings for him and making sure she knew that he meant business about their future took some effort but eventually, he won her over and I was happy for him.
This wasn’t an easy book to read because there were times when I wanted to strangle both Pax and Mila but in the end, I was glad that I stuck it out because you could see the growth in both Pax and Mila throughout the book and I was happy with the way that they turned out.

This was a good book, a solid story and I ended up liking it.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 21 October, 2013: Finished reading
  • 21 October, 2013: Reviewed