Approval Junkie by Faith Salie

Approval Junkie

by Faith Salie

"In this hilarious collection of essays, comedian Faith Salie reflects on the absurd hoops she's jumped through in order to win approval. From running in place in a darkened shower in Africa at 4 am to lose weight, to agreeing to an exorcism at the behest of her crazy ex-husband, to eating pig organs with Harrison Ford's son after her producers told her it would "make good TV", Salie has done it all in the hopes of achieving positive reinforcement from colleagues, friends, and her aforementioned ex (or as she calls him, "was-band"). With thoughtfulness and sarcasm, Salie reflects on why it is she tries so hard to please others, highlighting a phenomenon that many people--especially women-- experience at home and in the work place. Equal parts laugh-out loud funny and poignant, Approval Junkie is a humorous exploration into why it is that we so desperately try to please others at the expense of our own happiness"--

Reviewed by gmcgregor on

3 of 5 stars

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I want people to like me. My friends (obviously), people at work, the people reading this. I'm pretty sure I should be embarrassed by how much it matters to me what people think, but it does matter all the same. The older I get, the more I'm okay with the idea that since some people aren't really my cup of tea, it's fair that I'm not everyone's cup of tea either. But that means that I'm okay with about 2% of people not liking me, maybe 3% as a worst-case scenario. Everyone else, I'm going to go ahead and need your approval.

Which is why I was intrigued enough by the title of this book to put it on my to-read list, even though comedian essay/memoir isn't the end of the reading pool I do more than lightly dip my toes in very often. Faith Salie's Approval Junkie chronicles her lifelong pursuit of other people's regard, from her childhood acting career, to her determination to win her high school's Miss Aphrodite crown, to trying to build a career as an actress in Hollywood, her relationship with her first husband, her divorce, remarriage, and eventual family life with children. Her writing voice is strong, sure, and entertaining, and she doesn't just go for funny (although when she does, her chapter about trying to win over Bill O'Reilly is a highlight). She also hits pathos, describing her difficulties dealing with the death of her mother when she was 26 and her struggle to conceive a child; as well as life advice, in her chapter about how to conduct an interview/genuinely listen to other people.

At the end of the day, I remembered why I don't usually read these kind of books unless they're by people I already love, like Mindy Kaling and Tina Fey. Even with their books, I find myself smirking wryly rather than actually laughing out loud. It's really hard to be laugh out loud funny in print...the only comedy book I can actually remember triggering more than the occasional light chuckle was My Horizontal Life. I'm not super into Chelsea Handler, but that book was hysterical. Salie's book is pretty decent, but not up to the Kaling/Fey level. On the whole it's more funny than not, and it's entertaining if not particularly memorable. I'd recommend this for a slightly older crowd...a lot of its humor deals with divorce, fertility treatments, and childrearing. While it can certainly be appreciated by people who haven't had those experiences (like me), I feel like it would be most enjoyable for people who can relate better.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 14 January, 2016: Finished reading
  • 14 January, 2016: Reviewed