The Closer I Get

by Paul Burston

[zooloo1983]

I am not sure if I have any new words to review this book that has not already been said but I can only but try. Have I already mentioned how excited I was about reading this book? It truly did not disappoint me, Paul got me hooked from the opening pages. I really did not want to put the book but I did not want to rush it, well mainly being ill hasn’t helped, but I wanted to savour every word on every page. I was enthralled with this story of Evie and Tom, Tom and Evie. This dark tale of obsession and the power of an unrequited love resonates so much through The Closer I Get. Recently it was shared on social media an interview that Paul had done in the Guardian. It was a heartbreaking and brave account of his personal struggle with being stalked by someone, so this book does feel like a partial autobiography adding to the power of the written word. Paul has crafted a book that will unsettle you and have you looking over your shoulder. He pulls you in from the opening pages, each page you read is just a bit more unsettling, a bit more terrifying. I was dying to see how everything would play out because surely it could not get any darker….could it?

Well hello to Evie, someone that I feel everyone could relate a tiny bit with. I mean I completely fangirl when an author acknowledges me on social media, comments on my posts etc. You get a buzz, a thrill from that small amount of recognition and at the beginning, I sat there and thought WOW I’m Evie!! However, I have not taken up stalking, I mean I draw the line somewhere ……promise! The problem we have with Evie, and later with Tom, is that the lines become blurry. Who is telling the truth when it comes to their day in court? What secrets are being hidden?

Both lives are completely changed from the outcome of that day, none of it seems to be for the good. Both are heading down a dark and twisty path with very little signs of redemption, a lot of questionable actions and neither of them very likeable. But this doesn’t matter, it’s the intrigue of how their lives get so entwined together, what is keeping them together?

Tom is such a flawed man, he is far from privileged but sometimes he acts above his station. To him, some people are a means to an end and only he can make that decision. I mean who gave him that right? His reaction, for example, to the way Evie is now being “trolled” on Social media, is cold and callous even his best friend Emma cannot grasp it. Months and months of being stalked and tortured by this mentally unstable woman, and he can not fathom any remorse for what is now happening to her. Now don’t get me wrong part of me completely gets this, I mean why should he? He has suffered at her hands, he’s been made to feel like he is slowly losing the plot, so surely he’s entitled to some payback to her now being trolled. However, I felt remorse for her, no one should suffer the backlash like she had, especially if she is mentally unstable, this has the potential to do way more damage and something should be done to help. Tom, however, does not see any of this as his problem and why should he?

I enjoyed watching this unfurl from Tom and Evie’s point of view throughout the story. Tom, retreating to Hastings (only down the road from me!) to finish his book and creates an unlikely friendship with Colin, all the while struggling with the day to day and relying on the alcohol and cigarettes to get him through as he feels he is slowly losing his mind. Evie’s story is told through the letters/emails that she writes to Tom but never send due to her restraining order, trying to explain her position. Through this, the anger that they both feel is palpable and the sense of foreboding is so strong throughout you just do not have a clue what is going to happen and when the storm will roll on in. I felt on edge continuously, I seriously could not relax! It was intense and my emotions were all over the place. I was indifferent with both characters and I could not always figure out where Emma, Tom’s best friend, fit into all of this until that last piece of the jigsaw slotted home.

The Closer I Get also completely knocks the ball out of the park and amplifies the dangers of social media. Who is the keyboard warrior hiding behind their screens? How well do we know people? In the blogging community, you make a lot of virtual friends with the hope you do becomes friends in real life. But do you ever know who is the person behind the profile picture? I love Twitter, not that I really understand it, for the social aspect, but it is easy to see how one wrong word fuels a Halestorm of misconceptions. This is amplified here, with the trolling, the retweets, nothing is sacred or hidden for long. It really does make me wonder, do I need to deactivate mine before it’s too late??

For me this is one of my books of the year, it has everything I need from a book and it is a book that has not left me since finishing the final words. I really do recommend this to everyone and I have been shouting about this since I finished it!

Did I like this book? Erm…No… I bloody LOVED it. Why? Well, it’s hard to put into words why. The characters are unlikeable, the theme is dark and unsettling, there is so much tension in the book and above all it keeps you hooked until the end. I don’t feel like I had a respite at the end! It is the sort of book I would recommend reading on a dark cold rainy night, with a blanket and a blinking large glass of wine, maybe some merlot, all the while savouring the tantalising tale in front of you.