Darker

by E L James

[stacey_is_sassy]

The narrator helped me get through…

I have read, watched and now listened to this series. I surprisingly didn’t mind reading Grey even though it was a story retold. I was curious about Christian’s relationship with Eleanor and what makes him defend, befriend and provide for a child abuser. I found some questions were answered but there were things that I was still curious about. When Darker was released, I wasn’t jumping for joy and rushing to buy it. The cost factor put me off. I was also concerned that my love of the second movie would be diminished because of this book. I really liked the second movie and didn’t want the experienced tainted.

So, my reading experience was a *Wow, kinky stuff is going mainstream?!?!* The movie experience was *Wow, I didn’t need the dark glasses and baseball cap after all!* My listening experience was *Wow, how does a bloke do this (reading out loud) without busting a gut laughing*.

Thank goodness Zachary Webber didn’t bust a gut laughing. He was extremely professional and made listening, a pleasure.

What I find hard is connecting all three experiences. Ana’s version shows a timid and shy girl who is WAY out of her depth, with Christian as an egotistical control freak. The movie shows Ana as having more backbone and sass than the books. Christian also comes across in the movies as more quieter and reserved. Speaking only when he needs to…actions speak louder than words. Unfortunately, Darker (I won’t say the audio because it was the story and not the narration) gave us a Christian Grey that was WEAK, self-loathing and completely lacking in confidence. Every bloody time he starts with the *…she’s going to leave* I wanted to throw something. A couple of times, sure. Every five minutes, though? Torture!!

For the first time in any of my reading, watching and listening experiences, I actually thought *Geez, Christian, talk about double standards*. He friggin gives Leila a bath?!?! Holy Bloody Hell!! AND HE DOESN’T EVEN TELL ANA BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT WILL MAKE HER CRANKY!! Gee whiz, what a friggin surprise… His controlling ways were something that I accepted as part of his “charm” but to blatantly have one rule for him and one for Ana drove me bonkers. He didn't seem to take Ana’s feelings into consideration at all which made me angry. For the first time EVER I was disgusted with it all. I nearly gave up. I was so incensed, I even thought of forgoing the last movie. I was THAT disgusted and overwhelmed with loathing.

I gained a little satisfaction when Grace found out the truth about Eleanor and whooped her arse for it. Even knowing the outcome and what would play out, I couldn’t help wishing for Grace to call the cops and have her charged. It still peeves me that she got away with sexual, mental and physical abuse. I never understood why Grace didn’t act on (any decent mother’s) instinct, and make Eleanor suffer for her crimes?

I finished it and it was ONLY thanks to Zachary Weber. If I had read it, I probably would have DNF’d it.

There will probably be a few people who will be questioning why it took me so long to admit Christian is a jerk. The movie really doesn't portray the "real" Christian if Darker is the "real" Christian. The alternate POV has opened my eyes to a few things and made me question how I could have liked FSOG at all. It was the falseness of his love that pushed me over the edge. He was all *I will do anything for you Ana*. In reality, they were just words. He really didn’t take her feelings into account and hardly considered how he would react if the situation was reversed.

I will not be going on if E.L. James brings out an alternate POV for Freed. Christian, you’re a douchewaffle, and there’s no coming back from there.