I Take You

by Eliza Kennedy

[Leah]

Oh God, what do I say about this horrific book? I have read many, many books in my time, but this one takes the cake. Within the first two pages, Lily had kissed a dude, and slept with a dude, all while on her bachelorette party - yay for love and fidelity /sarcasm.

That really set the tone of the book, and while I can see where Kennedy was coming from and there's nothing wrong with a heroine who likes sex, there is fundamentally something wrong with any person who likes sex from RANDOM STRANGERS the week before their wedding. Lily could sleep with whoever the heck she wanted; my problem was she had a fiance. It actually drives me crazy, the whole cheating thing and that's not even the worst of it (see below, and under the Spoiler heading for the ABSOLUTE CHERRY ON THE CAKE). The twist was laughable HAHAHAHAHA. Tragically laughable.

This was a bad book. The only reason I stuck it out was to see what this big whole back story was with a kid named Teddy and it was suitably horrific, proving that Lily has been awful pretty much all her life, and as is the way with people like Lily, it's not her fault she sleeps around, it's because she didn't have the right moral code from her parents. OF COURSE. Silly me. It's not as if people have their own opinions and can tell right from wrong. PSHAW. Just like all those sons and daughters of drug addicts or murderers who somehow manage to not be drug addicts or murderers. Bizarre-o.

I truly wish I hadn't started this book, I wish I hadn't seen the beautiful cover and thought this would be right up my alley, because it was nowhere near any kind of alley I enjoy. It's really hard to have respect for someone who sleeps with anyone with a pulse despite the fact she's going to be married; despite the fact one of the men is her boss and another is her fiance's boss (I MEAN WHAT?). She even goes so far as to hit on Will's best friend. WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT?!?!?!?!

This REALLY wasn't the book for me, and it got even worse when it was revealed that WILL WAS ALSO A CHEATING SO AND SO. Ha oh God, I didn't believe that for one second. NOT ONE SECOND. You can't justify one person's cheating because her fiance was also apparently doing it. That was such a cheap plot twist. And I loved that Lily completely went off the deep end - it was totally okay for her to cheat, but as soon as the boot was on the other foot, she went psycho. Yeah, as if you have a leg to stand on, my love. In fact, you don't have ANY LEGS AT ALL

This book just really took the cake. It literally offended every part of me that could be offended. I mean, can you tell? Just from my unbearably snarky review? I did not like this book. If you want a good read about cheating that's actually not that bad, go read Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. That's how you write a book about cheating and don't make your reader want to go take 50 hot showers to wash away the ickiness.