My Dark Vanessa

by Kate Elizabeth Russell

[lessthelonely]

3.75/5 stars.

This wasn't an easy book to read - and you're about to say "Oh, another review talking about the book's heavy subject matter", but you'd be surprised to find that my gripes with this book don't come from its subject matter, but from its structure and some crucial decisions that were made with it.

Let's start by saying you should definitely know about this book's trigger warnings before reading it - I knew it and I do believe I would've been fine without knowing it, but I like to be shocked and surprised by dark subject matters and happenings in books. Some people do not and I feel like I should always say this whenever I encounter a book that I feel warrants it.

I have no idea why this book is so controversial. Maybe I'm sort of desensitized since I've read like two or three books that touch on this topic - though I don't feel like I was as shocked or bewildered like a lot of people. I boil this down to the unflinching writing this book has. The author doesn't shy away from reaping the shock and emotions from what's happening - it would be in poor taste if this wasn't the point. The shock shows us just how easily someone in Vanessa's situation can end up feeling like an impostor by manifesting their own trauma, with an unflinching showcase of how traumatizing it is but, at the same point, at how easily someone who doesn't know any better can get tangled in it and even come to a place of conformity towards it - I would probably do better in using another term but I feel like my point has been made.

My gripes with this book is that the chapters have no business being this long. I get that this is literary fiction - for me, having that genre on it feels like saying "This book was written to prove a point". And I got the point from the book, but I don't get why it couldn't have a little less meandering. The author frequently reached the point of a chapter, only for the chapter to keep going for a little while. And while some other points were definitely being made or reinstated, it wasn't easy to digest a lot of wandering around.

The book had "can't look away or you'll miss it" moments - I don't get why those were so sparse and momentaneously sprinkled in. I truly ate those up and the story definitely didn't lose any of its punch, in fact, it drove the punch further into me, I'd say. When it first happened, I was like: "Oh, ok, it's picking up" and while one could argue that Yes, it did, one could also argue otherwise.

So that would be what I wish this book had done: a little less meandering and just a tad more plot. The book is still just as tragic with a bit of meandering, but there are definitely moments that stretched on for a little too long.

I liked this book and I'm glad I read it, but this is one of those books engineered to leave you feeling angry or at least unsatisfied (because that's the point), so tread carefully.