Take Your Medicine

by Hannah Carmack

[Empress of Sass]

3.75/5
I was contacted by the author and asked if I would give an honest review of this novella in exchange for her providing me with a free copy. Now, normally you can't tie me to a chair and force me to read anything shorter than 300 pages. I make it no secret that I do not like novellas or *shudder* short stories. My preference is long, epic sagas where I can stay with the characters and in the world for as long as possible. I have trouble letting go once I get attached and want to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. However, that being said, I wanted to give this book a try, because 1) I do like a good retelling/re-imagining, and 2) I was eager to see how the LGBT and disability representation was handled.

I have a chronic illness that's not fully diagnosed and not well treated, so right off the bat I could relate to Al. We are at different places in our chronic illness journey so while her immediate eagerness to try another potential, unproven cure was not in line with how I feel when meeting someone new and they claim they know just what might help me, if I remember back to the initial few year after my condition worsened, I can see where she's coming from.

I think the details in the novella of what it's like for someone with a chronic condition were pretty spot on, at least for me. Having to be so careful, never knowing when your condition will be triggered, how much energy you'll have at any given time, micromanaging your entire world hit home for me.

"If I had a chance to get better, I'd take it. No matter the risk. Modern medicine sure as hell wasn't doing anything for me. Being proactive, learning your triggers, avoiding intense emotion. Yeah, there's something that'll suck the life right out of you- avoiding intense emotion. Anger, sadness, surprise, happiness, I wasn't supposed to feel any of it too strongly. What's the point of living if you can't live how you feel?"- Take Your Medicine, by Hannah Carmack

This is one of the few times I have been able to really connect with a book character and say "she gets it, this is what it's like." The other times were The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, and Magonia by Maria Dahvana Headley. Most authors can depict the wilting violet, pale and tragically afflicted protagonist, but very few are able to capture the frustration, the constant need to be extremely careful and mindful, and the inability to even feel strong emotion without causing a flare up. Most miss how you never know when you'll reach your limits, for that amount can be different every single day, and how hard it is to plan anything in advance. That you can miss out on so many good things, and have to give up things that once defined you and were your passions. Hannah Carmack doesn't shy away from any of this, and boldly depicts Al's heartbreaking longing for the person she once was before getting sick. For a person with a chronic illness, that's one of the hardest mental hurdles- reconciling who you are now, what you are capable of, with who you once were.

The characters are all vivid and interesting, and I wish more of them could have been developed further. Some we only see snippets of, but those snippets are brightly coloured and intoxicating. That same longing can be said for the story too. I wanted more. I know it's a novella, but I would have preferred this to be a full length novel. There was enough in the setting, the characters and the story to definitely warrant it. It almost functions as a character driven piece, more than a traditional plot driven story. The plot was the weakest part, but all the building blocks for a larger story are there. It's like looking into the foundation of an abandoned construction project. You can see what it could be if it was finished, and you can't help be a little sad that it was never fully realized. Hannah Carmack, if you give me more to this story, I'd read it. Eagerly.

The writing is poetic without being overly flowery, or treading into what I personally call "book club, trying to hard, super mysterious vaguery™ ". It had flow, rhythm and was just descriptive enough without being overwhelming. Based on writing style alone, I'd try reading something else from the author. My one gripe was with some of the dialogue from the POC characters- I think the contractions, grammar and the voice used might have went a little far, but as I am not a POC woman from the southern US, I don't feel if I can speak on this definitively.

The cover is absolutely gorgeous. I love the colours, the font, and the slate background. There's such depth and vividness, to me it is an excellent compliment to the characters contained within it. Excellent job, whoever designed it. I'd love print for my wall.

I'm extremely thankful to have been asked to review this book. While I had some gripes (longer! more! give me more!), I enjoyed reading the book and was sad to see it end. Excellent job Hannah, I'm looking forward to following your career and seeing what you do next. Best of luck with the release of Take Your Medicine!