absolution

by Ava Harrison

[Eve1972]

 

Truth be told, I went into this book with pretty low expectations. I honestly wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did. I still had some major issues with Jace's character, but apart from that, it was a pretty decent read for me. Frankly, this author is just a brilliant writer. She can write emotional scenes and heartache with the best of them. This book gutted me. I cried. I was angry. I wanted to throat punch Jace. I wanted to shake Sydney and tell her to "MOVE THE FUCK ON." I was completely enthralled with this story and couldn't put the book down. Even the fact that he is still very much grieving for his dead wife for most of the book didn't bother me. It had only been a year since she and their unborn baby died, and grief (and especially guilt) isn't a switch you can turn off and on. I understood his pain and anger. I also never once felt that Sydney was second best either. Quite frankly I hate the term second best because it implies that love is some sort of competition. People love different people in different ways. It doesn't mean that the love he felt for Sydney was less than the love he felt for his wife because he was still grieving over her loss. The love he feels (and will always feel) for his wife didn't in any way diminish the love he felt for Sydney.





That said, grief isn't an excuse to be an utterly despicable human being either. It doesn't give you a pass to treat people like crap. It doesn't give you a pass for being an alcoholic (something that is never addressed in the book at all and really should have been). It doesn't give you a pass to neglect your children, who, just an FYI, also lost someone they loved (their mother). Jace was a completely unlikable douche (for most of this book). I felt for him, I really did, but I can't think of a single good quality this guy had. The way he treated his own children and family was deplorable and inexcusable. A lot of the book from the beginning until right near the end was him treating everyone (especially Sydney) like dirt on the bottom of his shoes. I hated him for that. I also hated how he abandoned Sydney when she needed him the most. However, he did work himself back into my good graces by the end...ever so slightly.

On to Sydney...was she a doormat? Yes, sort of, I can see why some people may feel that way about her character. I am not sure "I" would call her a doormat as much as she was just a decent human being with a big heart. Considering how badly this guy treated his kids, I was happy that she kept coming back for their sakes. She also did give as good as she got at times, so not a complete doormat in my opinion. Did she deserve better than Jace? For most of the book, yes. Should she have made Jace grovel more? Undoubtedly. That said. I ended the book feeling like this couple was on solid ground. It was a heartbreaking, and rage-inducing journey to get there, but get there they did.





So there you go. A bit of a mixed bag. Which leaves me struggling to decide on a rating. The book was amazingly written, and it clearly invoked a lot of different feelings from me. Which usually means 5-Stars. Alas, I disliked (but also strangely understood) the hero with the passion of a thousand white-hot suns. Resulting in me (at times) really wanting the heroine to move on and find a decent hero (lol). What to do...what to do?? I think I am going to go with a 4-Star rating at this point with the option to change my mind after I marinate on it a bit more.