Velveteen

by Academic Clinical Fellow Daniel Marks

[Angie]

I don't usually read books about serial killers, but I loved this idea of the ghost coming back to kill their murderer. Velveteen was killed by a man known as Bonesaw, a lonely butcher who likes to bring his work home with him (in the form of drugged up teenage girls, of course). She wants revenge on him even though she knows it's against the rules of the afterlife, but when he brings another girl home to terrorize, Velveteen knows she can't stop until he's dead. So, Velveteen sounds really great, right? Well, this serial killer, ghost, revenge plot is about 5% of this 500 page book. Shocking, I know.

Velveteen really let me down. When it opens, Velveteen is vandalizing Bonesaw's home, and she's doing a pretty great job at it. Then I had a thought. Why isn't he dead already? She said she's been there a few times, even rescued a handful of girls. She also came close to burning him alive, but his smoke detectors saved him. It seems like she's had plenty of time to do it, especially since she can grasp objects even if she cant possess people. If she can untie girls kept in the shed, why can't she stab Bonesaw with one of his precious tools? Why didn't she set HIM or his bed on fire when she tried to burn him before? It makes no sense.

After that introductory chapter, Velveteen returns to the afterlife where pretty much the rest of the book takes place. Velveteen is very much not a book about a girl ghost exacting her revenge. It's all about some plot against purgatory, which is causing it to crumble. I did like the way purgatory was explained, but I really did not care about this revolution that was coming. Velveteen and her team are sent to investigate a trapped soul, which of course ends up being a super hot teenage boy. But they can't be together, because he's now her co-worker and it's forbidden, but they kiss and stuff anyway, and he can't stand to be away from her. And then they kill Bonesaw in ten seconds and save the afterlife together. The end.

Velveteen was super boring, and not at all what the blurb promises. Bonesaw is in the opening chapter and then doesn't appear for another 300 pages and is gone super quick. The destruction of the afterlife main plot was dragged out and slow, although it could have been interesting if Nick hadn't entered the picture as the insta-love interest who has to save Velveteen, even though she was perfectly capable of carrying out her mission herself. Whatever.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.