I think books dealing with grief are winning a special place in my heart. I have been so knocked out by them lately and The Art of Feeling is yet another to add to my "stupendous read" list.
This book was about loss. Sam and her family lost their mother due to a hit and run, but mom meant different things to different members of the family, and they all dealt with the loss in different ways. As far as Sam was concerned, she didn't only lose her mom, she lost the ability to walk without assistance, which meant, she lost her ability to be part of the lacrosse team and her place in that social circle. Essentially, Sam was lost. My heart went out to her, and I was rooting for her to have a breakthrough the entire book.
"I'm losing him, just like I lost Mom, my mobility, my friends, my sport. I'm going to lose everyone who defines me and everything that makes me special until I dissolve into nothingness."
This book was about feeling and not feeling. Sam was plagued by chronic physical pain, but as she physically ached, she felt nothing emotionally. Until Eliot. I have so many thoughts on this part of the story. I loved all the connections Tims made between physical and emotional pain, and all the different ways that people deal with this pain. I was most struck, though, with the idea of someone who could not feel physical pain being the one, who helped someone else feel again.
"But I do know one thing, and it's that the blankness that I usually feel went away the second I got into his car and it hasn't come back."
I was so enthralled by Eliot. He was beyond socially awkward, self-destructive, and fairly abrasive, but I was so drawn to his character. Maybe it was his obsession with the Meyers-Briggs types or his brutal honesty, but he was so interesting. And once he discovered there was more to him than he thought, there was some really special parts of him that shined through.
"I can't figure out if I like him or not. If I do, that's concerning."
There is a little mystery. Sam is unable to remember the accident, but as time passes, she begins to remember snippets here and there. Tims placed these puzzle pieces so thoughtfully throughout the story, and it was sort of shocking when we learned the truth.
This was a book that did not depict grief in a one-size-fits-all way. I loved that Tims showed how each member of Sam's family was handling her mother's death. Their approach to grief was so varied, and to me, that was very real. We don't all grieve in the same way. Some numb their feelings with drugs and alcohol. Some run away from it, and call it "moving on". Some try to stuff the pain down with food. Others have a major depressive episode. The people in this book were quite broken, and it was watching them trying to combat the pain that was so special for me. They had setbacks, but I kept having hope for them.
"Grief is a tapeworm chewing holes in the brain, making it so you don't remember things.."
Although there is a lot of sad and heavy stuff in this book, there is a lot of humor and happiness too. Tims delivered what I always need when I read a book like this. She balanced out the sad with the happy. I cried, but I also laughed, and that is what I need as a reader.
I enjoyed this book immensely! It made me feel way too much and I couldn't have asked for more. Great story, great characters, and enough closure in the ending that I was truly satisfied. I totally hugged this book.
**I would like to thank the publisher for the advanced copy of this book. Quotes are from an ARC and may change upon publication.
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