Searching for Beautiful

by Nyrae Dawn

[Angie]

I received an ARC through NetGalley.

Searching for Beautiful was different than I was expecting, but I liked it. The story opens with Brynn telling her boyfriend (of just three months) that she's pregnant. He immediately tells her to get rid of it, and freaks out about going to jail, and how she's trying to trap him. Turns out, Jason's twenty-three years old and a minor league baseball player (with a major ego). That night Brynn miscarries, causing her father to find out about her secret relationship, and he wants to press charges since she's only sixteen. However, Jason is making it seem like she lied about her age and not the other way around, and everyone believes him, because he's semi-famous. Jerk.

While the story starts off super sad, and with Brynn on a downward spiral, Searching for Beautiful is actually a hopeful story. Things are bad for Brynn now, but when her middle school crush, Christian, moves next door, she starts to open up to people again. She had shut down when her mother died, blaming herself. She pushed away her friends, but then Jason entered her life and she felt loved again. Upon losing him and her baby, she's more alone than ever. Christian doesn't believe the rumors going around school and makes an effort to befriend Brynn. She's not receptive at first, but eventually friendship follows. I also loved how she got close to his mother first, and she ended up being an important part of the healing process.

There is a romance between Brynn and Christian at the end, but Searching for Beautiful is more focused on self-love and friendship. Brynn was just looking for love from everyone else. She never doubted her parents' love for her, since she was adopted and felt like they chose her for a reason. Then when she lost her mom, and her dad became lost in his grief, she just had her boyfriend. Without him, she felt worthless. Now she's learning to accept herself and find connections elsewhere. It was nice to watch her slowly become herself again.

I liked Searching for Beautiful, as well as its message. I did find myself bored at a few points though, since Brynn spends a lot of time moping and continuously pushes people away. There's also several flashbacks, not all of which I felt were necessary and drew me out of the story.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.