Say What You Will

by Cammie McGovern

It's a huge deal to compare a book to THE FAULT IN OUR STARS and ELEANOR AND PARK. Not only are those two of the biggest contemporary YA titles ever, but they happen to be my two all time favorites. To say I was skeptical starting SAY WHAT YOU WILL is putting it mildly.

But, the comparison--to both titles--is a good one.

There are similarities in both characters and story, as well as writing style. That's not to say that SAY WHAT YOU WILL is better than the books it's being compared to (it's not), but it is a good book that fans of TFIOS and E&P should embrace.

As for the book itself, well, if I'm being honest, it made me uncomfortable a lot of the time. Like Green's Hazel and Gus, Amy and Matthew have physical circumstances that are often heartbreaking to read about. Amy's CP is not sugar coated or minimized, nor is Matthew's crippling OCD downplayed. Amy can't talk without a computer, she drools and can't close her mouth or smile. She makes uncontrolled sounds and movements. She uses a walker but needs help dressing and eating. Matthews issues aren't the same as Amy's, but they isolate him nearly as much. He has debilitating panic attacks, compulsions that cause him to wash his hands a dozen times a day, walk on his toes, count the vowels in words, or only touch certain colors. It can be a lot to process as a reader, but McGovern handles the challenges really well. This is a book about harsh realities, but it's not--for the most part--a depressing book.

I felt strongly for Amy and Matthew and rooted for their happiness throughout. Amy's situation, in particular, was a roller coaster up sweet highs and then crushing despair as various events transpired. What helped me as a reader, was Amy herself. She's not a depressed person. She's brilliant and gutsy and naive in many ways that she recognizes.

Going back to the TFIOS and E&P comparisons, there is one aspect of SAY WHAT YOU WILL that for me failed to live up to it's counterparts, and it was the romance. Not because of their physical/mental circumstances, but because of the characters. I remember feeling like a piece of my soul would die if Hazel and Gus, and Eleanor and Park didn't get together. I didn't feel that way about Amy and Matthew. The last third especially failed to create that needed pull at my heart. I felt very strongly that they should be the best of friends, but that they both would be better off with other people.

I did really like SAY WHAT YOU WILL as soon as I finished it. The more time that passed, however, my affection dimmed somewhat, maybe because the romance didn't steal my heart the way I hoped, or that there were somethings about Amy's CP that seemed inconsistent (she needed help at school and with the bathroom, but she was left home alone all day during the summer. She and Matthew go swimming one day, but there is no one to help her get in or out of a swimsuit etc. are we supposed to believe he did?). For me, this is a 3 1/2 star read. Good, but not great. Moving but not unforgettable. I'll be interested in trying more books from McGovern to see if she can fully join the ranks of Green and Rowell in the future.