Say What You Will

by Cammie McGovern

[Leah]

When I first spotted Say What You Will, I thought it sounded like nothing I’ve ever read before, a romance with a big, big difference in that one of the main characters is disabled, and the other suffers with crippling anxieties. I admit, I’ve never read a novel featuring a character with cerebral palsy, I don’t know if that’s because there aren’t many books about disabled characters around, or if I’m just not finding them, or a mixture of both, and I was interested to see where Amy and Matthew’s story was going to go. But I will honestly admit, I was also a bit worried because, like I said, I’ve never read a book about a disabled person before, and normally when you read books it’s to read something better than what you’re experiencing, to read something about people whose lives are fairly awesome. Though Say What You Will surprised me in all the right ways – it was a super clever, warm, witty read, and Amy’s life was no less awesome just because she suffered with cerebral palsy.

I always think that books like this make me feel like a bad person, because I complain regularly about stuff I don’t like (stuff about work, stuff about my body, stuff about anything, basically) but then when you read a story as inspirational as Say What You Will, you kinda remind yourself that actually, your life isn’t all that bad. Maybe I’m not happy with my weight, but at least I can do something about that – whereas Amy won’t ever walk or talk. I’m sure that wasn’t Cammie McGovern’s intent, but it’s always nice to remember to not be so bloody ungrateful sometimes. Amy is probably one of the most amazing female characters I have ever come across. Instead of spending her life at home, hiding away, and having her life made even easier (because if you suffer as Amy suffers, wouldn’t you just want to hide away all day, every day), instead she attends regular high school, and even goes so far as to hire peer helpers for her final year, rather than the regular adult helpers who have always helped her out. Which introduces her to Matthew, who ends up being one of her peer helpers, after Amy asks him to apply for the job. And so begins one of the most beautiful friendships I will ever have the pleasure of reading.

I loved how Amy and Matthew’s friendship was super awkward at first, as you would expect! We get to see from Matthew’s point of view how he always viewed Amy, and we get a really interesting conversation between the two where Matthew is very honest and forthright with Amy about her never having experienced a true high school experience as she’s always had adult helpers around, which brings about the whole peer helper experience. It was so honest, and I liked that Matthew didn’t hold back on his feelings because Amy was disabled. Matthew and Amy are undoubtedly their high school oddballs – Amy because of her disability, and Matthew because of his anxiety disorder and I thought they complimented each other well, without it being forced because they were the two social outcasts. Their friendship may have not started out as such, but as the novel wore on and as their friendship blossomed, it became a beautiful thing. Even going from something more than friendship. I loved both Amy and Matthew separately – Amy is such a bundle of joy, so bright and cheerful, and willing to go out of her way to help Matthew and I felt Cammie McGovern made Matthew’s anxieties play very real, and I very much felt anxious along side him, any time that voice crept into play.

I was mightily impressed with Say What You Will, I didn’t expect the very serious twist of events the novel takes towards the end, and I’m still not entirely sure it sat squarely right with me, just because it was unexpected and it seemed a bit out of place. So that sort of took the book off in a totally different direction, and I just felt it perhaps needed a bit more time to adequately wrap up that portion, but everything leading up to that was amazing. I adored Amy and Matthew, I loved seeing them face the world together, it filled my heart with hope. Cammie McGovern is a wonderful storyteller and I loved the text messages and emails that are spread sporadically through the book as I felt that allowed us to see more insight into Amy and Matthew’s relationship. I really enjoyed the novel and I was very sad to be leaving Amy and Matthew’s world, because it was such a realistic portrayal of first love, and seeing past people’s disabilities and I really, really loved Amy’s voice box. I know that’s such a silly thing to have loved, but I loved that it seemed to shout everything, and I could just imagine it in my head. A great debut young adult novel, and one I wholeheartedly recommend.