We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding

We Used to Be Friends

by Amy Spalding

Two best friends grow up—and grow apart—in this innovative contemporary YA novel

Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable, but by graduation, they’re no longer friends. James prepares to head off to college as she reflects on the dissolution of her friendship with Kat while, in alternating chapters, Kat thinks about being newly in love with her first girlfriend and having a future that feels wide open. Over the course of senior year, Kat wants nothing more than James to continue to be her steady rock, as James worries that everything she believes about love and her future is a lie when her high-school sweetheart parents announce they’re getting a divorce. Funny, honest, and full of heart, We Used to Be Friends tells of the pains of growing up and growing apart.

Reviewed by Sam@WLABB on

4 of 5 stars

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Kat and James had been best friends since they were serendipitously paired together in Kindergarten. Both were looking forward to senior year for different reasons. Kat just wanted to get though this last year, and was anticipating all the new experiences waiting for her in college, while James was eager to be a senior and to enjoy her final year of high school with her best friend at her side. However, neither expected it would be the end of a decade long friendship.

I am telling you, right now, I had a headache, when I finished this book, due to all the crying I did. Romantic breakups are painful, but we rarely acknowledge how traumatic a friend breakup can be. My tears are evidence, that Spalding did a fantastic job depicting the collapse of this storied friendship. So, considered yourself warned.

Spalding told this story from both Kat and James' point of view, but she did so, from opposite ends of the timeline. James' story began at the end, with her leaving town for college, and Kat's started from the beginning of the school year. I found the dual timeline to be quite successful and meaningful for me. James' narrative had more insight, since she could reflect on the past, while Kat's had more unknown's. Since there was overlap, I also experienced many things in multiple ways, and we all know, perspective is everything. It was interesting the way their life situations were flipped, too. Kat's year started with heartbreak, and ended with everything coming up roses, while it was the opposite for James.

James' point of the view definitely elicited more tears from me. Her life sort of imploded, and everything she believed in seemed like a lie. There were some positive things that came out of what happened, and Spalding left me hopeful for other things, but James lost a lot, and it broke my heart watching her slow retreat from everyone and her self-imposed isolation.

Kat's side of the story made me smile a whole lot. Her family was still in the process of healing following her mother's death, and they were slowly regrouping. Not only was Kat's home life improving, but she fell in love and discovered a lot about herself, included that she was bisexual. The friend breakup seemed to leave more of a mark on Kat, as well, and she tried to make some changes in order to be a better person.

This was a story that resonated with me, because I have experienced those painful friend breakups, and I believe many others will be able to relate to Kat and James' story as well.

Overall: A sensitive and emotional tale of loss, love, healing, and self discovery.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 23 November, 2019: Finished reading
  • 23 November, 2019: Reviewed