Kill the Farm Boy by Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson

Kill the Farm Boy (Tales of Pell, #1)

by Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson

In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes.

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.

This is not that fairy tale.

There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.

And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.

There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed. 

Reviewed by kimbacaffeinate on

4 of 5 stars

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First, I must give Luke Daniels the narrator of this tale accolades. Bravo! How did you not burst out laughing every five minutes?  Daniels range of voices and ability to deliver this tongue-in-cheek tale was brilliant. He brought the humor up a notch and endeared me to these odd characters. Now, please share the bloopers and outtakes!

You might like Kill the Farm Boy if:

  • You enjoy puns, slapstick humor and excessive talks of poo, phalluses, and cheese. Both Hearne and Delilah are known for their humor and nods to fandoms in their writing but here it's no holds barred. Puns, parodies and spoofs abound. For example, the elvish village of "Morning Wood" and the lavish descriptions of food! If euphemisms and innuendos aren't your thing, you might want to pass.

  • You know your fairy tales and will recognize and appreciate the nods and parodies contained within the kingdom of Pell.  You will find Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel,  and the Princess Bride to name a few weaved into this story. I found these bits entertaining and laughed aloud more than once.

  • You're not planning on devouring this in a few sittings. Usually with Hearne and Daniels' audiobooks I jump in and devour them in a day or two. It took me a  week to listen to Kill the Farm Boy. When I listened in smaller takes, I enjoyed the humor more. It's over the top and sometimes borders on ridiculous. When I listened for longer lengths, I got distracted or missed more subtle references. So pacing is everything to appreciate all the mentions, puns and spoofs.

  • You love unusual characters with odd quirks. An unlikely group of companions begin a quest to save a dead farm boy. The tale begins when a young farm boy, named Worstly, learns he is the chosen one. Gustave, a talking goat, is his companion.  As Worstly sets out to fulfill his destiny Gustav berates him. Fia, a seven-foot warrior wearing the most unusual chain-mail carries an enchanted sword whose bloodthirsty she must control. Fia accidently kills the farm boy and thus our tale begins. Argabella, the half-rabbit half-woman bard joins them, long with Toby, the carb eating, Dark Lord who craves artisan crackers. Rounding out the group is Poltro, a pitiful rogue who is afraid of chickens and Grinda the sand witch who is plagued with issues.  Then we have secondary characters like Staph the fairy whose wand is covered in flem and Steve the Necromancer who everyone hates.  I liked that the cast was largely made up of women and Pell offers a diverse landscape.

  • You can see past the slapstick humor and appreciate the character growth and complexity of the story. Jokes, and innuendos aside, the story is well-developed and clever. Strengthened by their companions we witness individual growth and friendships.

  • You want to see every element of fairy tales and fantasy turned on its head. Honestly, I think they hit every one!

  • You long to see a Troll get his ass handed to him.

This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Reviewer

Last modified on

Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 16 July, 2018: Finished reading
  • 16 July, 2018: Reviewed