How to Capture a Duke

by Bianca Blythe

[stacey_is_sassy]

It was OK...then it was good...until the rod.

This is a tricky review for me to write. How to Capture a Duke isn’t a bad book and I actually liked it, but there were a few things that made my eye twitch and I couldn't help but cringe, shudder and groan. I normally like stepping back in time, walking around with my hair coifed, dresses pressed and bonnet on, but in this case…I’ll take modern-day any day.

Fiona has a condition called curlyredhairfreckleyitis. Unfortunately, this condition has had her shunned from the ton, treated like a witch and put on the shelf. Fiona has lived with her grandmother since her parents died. Her grandmother is worried about passing and leaving Fiona alone. Besides her grandmother and sister, the rest of Fiona’s family are horrid and treat her like a leper. They want to marry her off, which doesn’t suit Fiona at all. Fiona has a dream. She wants to be an archaeologist and spends most of her spare time digging up the estate she lives on as she’s found some Roman treasures. Her relatives want her to marry her cousin, which means her dreams will not be realised. She comes up with the idea of having a fake fiancé to get them all to leave her alone. She just needs to find a victim/fiancé to play the part for awhile.

Percival, the Duke of Alfriston, has returned home from the war without his cousin and also without part of his leg. He became the duke because of his cousin’s death, so he’s not exactly comfortable in his position. A newly appointed duke and an amputee have not given Percival a very settling homecoming. He’s on a mission to get the family jewels from his estate and return to perform his duties as a duke and marry a lady he’s never met. On the way back to London, his coach is attacked by a red-haired highwaywoman. She doesn’t want his money though…she wants his body.

How to Capture a Duke then goes on to a madcap adventure where Fiona finds her victim, kidnaps him and forces him to meet her grandmother. How on earth the coach driver thought she was attacking them, just because she had a knife in her hand, is beyond me. The driver then runs away, taking Fiona’s horse, leaving the duke to fend for himself. I mean he’s an ex-serviceman with two arms, one leg and heartbeat…and she’s got one piddly little knife. Who should have won, I ask you? Unfortunately, this was the eye twitch stage.

The story then settled down and was alright for a little while, we see the two of them get to know each other a little better and Percival comes to understand why she put him in this position. I was flying along really enjoying it and then he all of a sudden decides he loves her…like bam… crash - her red curly hair fascinates me so much…I LOVE HER!! He’s overcome with lust, she strips for him (WTH!!), he pulls out his ROD (I was shuddering even typing that word) and he gets her off and she gets him off too. Seriously, she’s a virginal bluestocking, how the hell did she know to do that? So, they’re all in LOVE for like 3 hours (or something) and everything goes KAPUT!! Mis-communications, family interference lead them to part ways.

Months later, he admits he can’t live without her and comes back for a bit more rod fondling. If I never see the word rod used in that context again, I will be a happy woman.

Honestly, this story has great potential. The writing and editing were exceptional, the ideas interesting, but the flow and sexy times left me groaning. More good than bad and I will definitely try another of this author's work if she promises to never type the word rod in a sex scene… unless it’s a kinky book and used to describe a piece of equipment…not that type of equipment…the other type of equipment…you know what I mean…

I received a complimentary copy of How to Capture a Duke via the author for an honest review.

To buy How to Capture a Duke from Amazon - http://amzn.to/1WQOG5u

I’m an Aussie chick who loves to read and review romance, drink coffee, be a Style Setter and stalk David Gandy. To see more of my reviews, fashion, food and pervathons -