Even If I Fall by Abigail Johnson

Even If I Fall

by Abigail Johnson

Don’t miss this deeply emotional, romantic and layered novel from Abigail Johnson, whose stories have been described as “smart,” “heartfelt,” “genuine” and “complex,” featuring a boy and girl who should never have become friends, let alone fallen in love. Perfect for fans of Kasie West, Morgan Matson, and Sarah Dessen.

A year ago, Brooke Covington lost everything when her beloved older brother, Jason, confessed to the murder of his best friend, Calvin. Brooke and her family became social pariahs, broken and unable to console one another. Brooke’s only solace remains the ice-skating rink, where she works but no longer lets herself dream about a future skating professionally.

When Brooke encounters Calvin’s younger brother, Heath, on the side of the road and offers him a ride, everything changes. She needs someone to talk to…and so does Heath. No one else understands what it’s like. Her brother, alive but gone; his brother, dead but everywhere. Soon, they’re meeting in secret, despite knowing that both families would be horrified if they found out. In the place of his anger and her guilt, something frighteningly tender begins to develop, drawing them ever closer together.

But when a new secret comes out about the murder, Brooke has to choose whose pain she’s willing to live with—her family’s or Heath’s. Because she can’t heal one without hurting the other.

Reviewed by Joséphine on

4 of 5 stars

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Initial thoughts: Even If I Fall is one of those books that surprised me because even though I could predict most of the plot, I found myself extremely invested. I loved the exploration of what it means to be a sibling versus an individual, that ultimately, everyone is responsible for themselves. Yet, sometimes it's easier to blame ourselves, especially when we want to absolve others of blame. Brooke put her life and dreams on hold, even though she wasn't a murderer behind bars. Her passion for ice skating hadn't died but the belief that she could still go out there and pursue it did. Her perspective was just heart-wrenching. And as Brooke's and Heath's families fell apart, I wanted to know if and how they would ever be whole again.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 12 March, 2019: Finished reading
  • 12 March, 2019: Reviewed