All We Could Still Have: A Novel

by Diane Barnes

In their attempts to have a child, a husband and wife must contend with personal desires, crossed boundaries, and broken trust as they reimagine what it truly means to be a family.

Nikki and Kyle Sebastian have a loving and healthy marriage. It’s only missing one thing they want—children. When the couple is diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and endures several failed rounds of IVF, Kyle, for both their sakes, is unwilling to bury them deeper in emotional and financial debt.

Desperate to have a baby, Nikki betrays Kyle’s trust in an attempt to try IVF one more time. The choice fractures their once-stable union. Now burdened with suspicion, resentment, and further grief, their little family is falling apart.

Picking up the pieces of their broken home means reassessing their dreams for the future—dreams that Nikki’s not ready to give up. If she can’t find a way to forge a new path forward with Kyle, she may find herself alone at the end of the family tree she longs to help grow.

• ISBN10: 1662511817
• ISBN13: 9781662511813
• Publish Date: 7 November 2023
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: US
• Publisher: Amazon Publishing
• Imprint: Lake Union Publishing
• Format: Paperback (US Trade)
• Pages: 283
• Language: English

Reviews

[Jeff Sexton]

Quick Read That Serves As A Good Look Into The Mind Of Some Childless People. I've struggled for nearly 10 days now to sit down and write out my thoughts on this book, and ultimately what I come down to is that this really is a really good look at how desperate some people are to have children - and the lengths they will go through to get them, up to and including risking everything else they claim to care about. As a sub-300 page book, it is also a relatively quick read, which helps because this is largely one dark and depressing tome (can a sub-300 page book be a 'tome'? this one certainly feels like it) that will have many readers wanting to throw it out the nearest window, even if reading it on your Kindle or other device. There is just enough light here to keep it from being *too* dark and depressing, but seriously, if you've ever been anywhere near these issues in your "real" life... this one hits all too close to home. And while I, as a male, have never been in our female lead's exact shoes - I've been near enough to her husband's, as we actively weighed IVF and the "modern miracle" horrors it wreaks on the female body in a desperate ploy to *maybe* get pregnant. In the end, my wife and I actively chose to become childfree - yes, there is a difference between childfree and childless, and this book actively shows it. Childfree is happy not having kids. Childless is always feeling a void/ like you've missed out on something, as our lead here does. Still, for those who have never reason to consider this particular path or its varying branches... this really is truly a strong look into that overall mindset, for all its benefits and pitfalls. Very much recommended.