lessthelonely
Written on Oct 4, 2021
OK, I have a lot of thoughts on this one, friends.
I have been in a weird place in terms of reading, lately, mainly because I've been trying to keep a balance reading habit with both books and other easier to finish media (webtoons, manga, webcomics, and graphic novels). It hasn't been going well in the sense that I haven't been keeping it balanced at all, and the reason for it is that I've been trying to get through my year-old TBR list, with books I decided I wanted to read many moons ago. This made me find out that most of the books I was interested to read weren't for me, with me ending up DNFing them after my usual real shot at reading them (which is anywhere near 50 and 100 pages, depending on length - I feel like it's fair).
I heard people talking about this book on TikTok, like so many books I've been trying to read, but when I went and decided to look for what it was about, I was pretty excited and pretty suspicious of its rating on Goodreads - look, I know we're supposed to be using StoryGraph, which I do prefer a whole lot, but when you're looking for quick information, you can't make Google show you the pages you like most. The rating told me that I most probably wasn't going to like this book all that much, and I was right.
I'm not saying that all books with a 3-4 star rating will probably be awful for me to read, I'm simply saying it's highly probable, and it's usually a reason for me to decide I won't read a book. I didn't do it here, and I'm glad I didn't because, if anything, this book taught me a few things and showed me a few things in writing and plotting. On the other hand, I feel like this book could've easily been a 5/5, considering how short this book is.
I don't know how many pages the physical version has, but on my Kindle, it appeared with 264 pages, which was another reason for me to decide to read it - usually, when I'm in a reading slump, I pick up any book with short chapters and that is all around captivating for me. If you haven't heard of this book, or, just like me, only heard about it being sapphic, then let me tell you that the marketing for this book is, to be honest, genius.
This book is marketed as a The Picture of Dorian Gray retelling, which, from someone who read the book, makes a big amount of sense. A lot of people seem hung up on this, claiming it's false advertising and I'm not sure if I agree or disagree. On that front, this book is immensely captivating because, as a fan of Dorian Gray, I was ready for this to be as shocking as that book was for me. I'm sadly reporting it isn't. Granted, considering my reading habits today, I don't know how I finished that book in the first place, because that book is everything I despise about most classics (especially the ones I've read, which are Portuguese): purple prose with barely any plot. Pretty quotes and self-indulging happenings that may, sometimes, have a few tricks up its sleeve. Dorian Gray has that in its ending and little plot twist of its title character, which to this day still leave me reeling.
I'm starting to realize many of the most highly regarded plot twists on the reading communities are from books that I'd classify as purple prose with some basic twists in the end: the purple prose and pretty quotes feel like you're being distracted from the non-existent plot until the twist(s) finally hit. That's what I felt in my trial of reading and then DNFing If We Were Villains, which I would compare Dorian Gray to.
Dorian Gray also has a special place in my heart because I realized how gay it is after reading it, which was a great surprise and made me see it in an even more positive light - if you haven't understood this: that book's plot twist landed on me.
Either way, back to this book. While I do want to give it to this book, as it is very reminiscent of Dorian Gray with a modern twist (just trade the painting with photographs), but this book is one you can devour in very few sittings - I did it in two. This book isn't bare-bones in the slightest in the way it tells its story, it's very well written and every word seems meticulously chosen to be as incisive and cutting as it can. Nothing is mulled over or overly talked about, yet it also isn't that quick that you start feeling as if the author is just going down an outline and checking each plot point out.
My problems with this book are, firstly, my engagement with it: I wasn't as engaged as I should've been in the main romance, which I'm pretty sure was meant to be a big selling point. I liked both Veronica and Michaela a lot separately, but the book goes into a romance storyline way too quickly. And I could make a joke about that meme that lesbians meet on one week and get engaged in the next, but the fact remains that I'm pretty sure I was supposed to want these two together, but I didn't. There wasn't pining, there wasn't even a lot of yearning: Veronica thought Mick was pretty and wanted to photograph her.
This book reminds me a lot of Surrender Your Sons, which is another YA queer thriller and the reason that book is so good is the reason I believe this book is bombarded with lukewarm reviews: Surrender Your Sons is a book that sets itself up with care, 50 pages or less. This book does the same, yet it's way shorter. However, that book had more than simply escape conversion therapy: it had a romance storyline that was nurtured throughout the book, only getting fully realized towards the 3/5 mark. This book, on the other hand, uses romance as a set-up for plot fuel by having Mick and Veronica fall out a few times. Not that it wasn't a good plot or annoying, but it comes into that problem of If I don't want these to be together, why should I care if they fight?
Moving on: Surrender Your Sons featured a very clear and juicy mystery in its middle regarding the staff of the island where the characters are. This book doesn't have that. Do you know the summary of this book? It spoils basically everything and kind of takes the oomph out of it. If I were a beta reader for this book, I would've advised making the romance bigger and longer in setting and squeezing that initial flashforward or even make more of them throughout the book, which is something I've done in writing and it's very fun!
Other than that, the final twist - basically, the big baddie -, isn't a surprise at all. I feel that books like this get brought down by the way mental health has been discussed today: if I read this book when I was 13? I'm pretty sure this would've been a 5/5 because I wouldn't be able to notice gaslighting or creepy fixations, but because I do... you can notice those things in this book. And because the flashforward tells you the gender of the baddie, the list gets immediately reduced to the culprit.
It was still fun to read it and see it all play out. This is one of those thrillers that sacrifices a satisfying end (which usually encompasses the bad guy dying or being caught) to make a point - this book's point is nice enough, in my opinion. I do think it's original and a creepy perspective because of how much sense it makes, which I think was the point.
Still, though... this could've given a lot more than it gave.