Name: Now Is Everything
Rating: 4.75 (4 reviews)

Review posted on https://lauriesbookshelf.com
At the beginning of this month, Now is everything by Amy Giles got its Dutch release. From the moment I saw the synopsis, I knew that I wanted to read this book. I did nearly as soon as I bought it and I have no regrets.

Trigger warnings: physical and emotional abuse, mention of (committing) suicide

I hated Hadley's father the moment I started reading. Like, his abuse starts straight away and it just. Never. Stops. The story starts with an event that actually happened near the end of the book, so you continuously read in flashbacks. This, along with the writing style, kept me reading and reading, which led to me finishing the book in less than a day. Hadley really shows some character growth, although I found her mom very weak. Lila unfortunately is not an innocent child anymore, their dad already started his abuse on her too. I think he has some sort of problem. Altogether, Now is everything is a strong novel about child abuse which gives your a really good insight. Because you can't always see what's happening behind close doors. I don't know what else to say about this book, it's a rock solid 5 star read.
This review was originally posted on Laurie's Bookshelf

Rating: 4.5 Stars

This was a tough read. It is never easy to sit by as someone's spirit is broken, but I am grateful for the little pieces of joy and hope Giles embedded in the story.

There was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be an emotional read based on the synopsis, but I did not anticipate how deeply it would affect me. This book got under my skin, and left me battling a million different emotions.

The story opened at the scene of a plane crash from which only Hadley walked away. Immediately, I was thrust into a sort of mystery. You see, many people thought Hadley had the perfect life. Her family was wealthy and lived in a big house. She drove a nice car, was captain of the lacrosse team, and was Ivy League bound. However, behind the fancy veneer lurked Hadley's dark reality.

"He broke her years ago. Now he's trying to break me too. They both poison me, little by little, mutating me at a molecular level. I'm terrified someday he'll snip my already fragile backbone in half, just like he did to my mother."

I loved the way Giles told the story. First, there was the format, which alternated between past and present as told by Hadley. The way she utilized the two time periods added an air of mystery to the story. I am a fan of authors feeding me bits and pieces of a story, little by little, because I enjoy trying to put the pieces together, and with this book, there were a few reveals that actually made me gasp. We also saw other points of view through interviews conducted by the crash investigator. Most of these interviews were with Hadley's friends, and revealed that the McCauley family's facade was beginning to crack.

"I know they just want to help put me back together again, but it's not just my arm that's broken. I'm a million shattered pieces. Tiny shards that will cut anyone who tires to clean up my mess."

The format worked really well with the way the story played out. There was a build in the story that complimented the escalation of the violence at home. The more abuse heaped on Hadley, the more she began to unravel, and I found my heart aching for her. The writing was quite beautiful, and I found myself in a constant state of highlighting, because the phrasing was exquisite, and did a perfect job capturing the appropriate emotions. Giles did an amazing job bringing us into Hadley's head, and providing us with justifications for her behavior. Her fear and terror was palpable, and I found myself making silent wishes for her to just hold on and not give up as she was being pushed further and further from herself and closer and closer to the edge.

"My father bursts out of his study, a gust of wind before the storm, his footsteps the rolling thunder..."

It was very difficult to sit by and watch Hadley be broken by her father, but Giles wove some happy and hopeful bits to keep me from falling into an abyss of heartbreak. Lila was such a bright spot, and Hadley's affection for her was so genuine. It became the two of them against the world at one point, and I was thankful they had each other. We also got to see Hadley fall in love, and those were some of the best moments, because they were her escape, her haven in the storm. Giles gave her the perfect love interest, because although he was less economically blessed than Hadley, he could relate, having been in a similar situation dealing with an alcoholic mom and an abusive father.

"A mall flame ignites inside my belly, one I thought was extinguished a long time ago. A tiny torch of hope."

Overall: This was an honest and sensitive look at child abuse infused with some joy and hope, which was quite intense and left me a little raw, but hopeful.

**I would like to thank the publisher for the advanced copy of this book. Quotes are from an ARC and may change upon publication.

Now Is Everything

by Amy Giles

Now Is Everything

by Amy Giles

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Laurie

lauriesbookshelf

Sam@WLABB