I Hate Everyone But You: A Novel about Best Friends

by Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin

This debut from two emerging YA talents is told through a series of texts and emails sent between two best friends as they head off to their first semesters of college on opposite sides of the country. But as each changes and grows into her new life, will their friendship survive the distance?

Ava and Gen, best friends, are heading off to their first semesters of college on opposite sides of the country. They stay in touch with texts and emails, documenting their weird roommates, self-discovery, coming out, and mental health. As each changes and grows into her new life, will their friendship survive the distance?

• ISBN10: 1250129338
• ISBN13: 9781250129338
• Publish Date: 16 July 2019 (first published 5 September 2017)
• Publish Status: Active
• Imprint: Wednesday Books
• Format: Paperback (US Trade)
• Pages: 368
• Language: English

Reviews

[Sam@WLABB]

I am sort on the fence with this one. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate either.

I really liked the concept. Both Gen and Ava are leaving home for the first time, and also, leaving each other. They have been besties throughout high school, and had grown to depend on each other in many ways. Ava got a lot of encouragement and support from Gen when it came to mental health issues, and Gen got stability from Ava and her family, while she had a less than perfect home life to deal with. We follow them and their friendship through that first semester, where they are figuring out a lot about being themselves and being themselves without each other.

I actually loved the format. I am a fan epistolary books, and I thought the format was successful for this story. The banter was witty, and I never felt bored. HOWEVER, I did find myself frustrated with the characters. I read a ton of YA, but I feel like I have found a book that I am "too old" for. For example, a big thing with Gen was that she didn't want to put a label on herself, but she labeled everyone else. She automatically dropped people she didn't even know into buckets and though I understand that she is young and still figuring stuff out, it got on my nerves. I am a big proponent in asking a good source for information. Ava thought she could ask Gen those questions that many wonder about, but feel like they can't ask. But instead of trying to educate Ava, she would berate her for wondering about any of those things. If you really want people to understand you, belittling and berating them is not the way to help, and she was supposed to be Ava's best friend. At the very end of the book, we get a sort of explanation for Gen's behavior, but it was too little, too late for me to forgive Gen.

I struggled a little with this book, because I am a character driven reader. I have to like and care about the characters, and it was a little hard here. I did love the format, and found the many of the exchanges interesting. I also thought an important time in a young adult's life was highlighted here, and I think there are readers, who will really appreciate some of the things that Gen and Ava are experiencing. Like I said, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it.

*I would like to thank the publisher for the advanced copy of this book.

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[Leah]

I Hate Everyone But You is, apparently, the debut novel from two YouTubers, Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin. I actually have no idea who they are, my YouTube watching is limited to Philip DeFranco (he’s awesome), booktubers, CinemaSins (HILARIOUS), Zoella (because I want to be her) and How To Dad (even MORE hilarious). Apparently they are comediennes (comedians? I HAVE NO IDEA) and have their own show. I just thought this sounded like a great book, and I love, love, love epistolary novels!

There is a lot to unpack with this book! It’s similar, to me, to Gena/Finn which I freaking loved (and still prefer, shhh) and it’s told solely in text messages (or tweets IDK) and emails. Ava and Gen live on opposite coasts after Gen decided to go to Boston for college and Ava stayed in California and they communicate daily about their lives/relationships/dramas, everything basically.

For such a short novel, boy does a lot happen, though and I kinda feel it shoe-horned everything into this book. Gen’s sexuality (which she is SO defensive of, and I’ll get to that), Ava’s mental health issues (we’re told she’s been in therapy for YEARS but we don’t actually know what it was that set her on that path, it could have delved so deep into Ava’s mental health but instead it was just a few sessions with a counsellor and maybe new drugs almost as if it was just a side thing, something non-important and despite the fact Ava had maybe five panic attacks as she re-told her stories, they all ended up fine? But I don’t know how realistic that is because maybe that’s how it goes for some people? But this book gave no context, no reasoning, no anything. It was just like… Well, there’s a panic attack.), the language was so 2017 that this book will date so quickly. Bae, lit (which is appropriation, I think), tot, all that slang people have decided is appropriate to use instead of actual words. I don’t mind pop culture in books but you kinda have to pick your battles. Bae is not a word that anyone should use, ever again, ever. For so many issues, this needed to be more than just emails/texts.

Now let’s talk about Gen. I loved her, I loved how honest she was, how stubborn and I liked that being in Boston allowed her to explore her sexuality. However, she was kind of a jerk to Ava about it, and I kinda didn’t get why. It may be because I am white and cis, but if I had a friend like Gen, who liked girls and boys, who was queer, I would be curious. I would want to ask questions, especially if it was my best friend in the whole world who I felt wouldn’t mind, but Gen minded. A lot. Which is her prerogative and maybe Ava should have Googled it? But they kinda had that kind of friendship where it should have been okay for Ava to ask the things she asked? Google can give you fifty different answers from fifty different people with fifty vastly different opinions, so why wouldn’t you turn to your best friend? IDK maybe that’s wrong of me to think that. Gen was happy to tell Ava what to do in her relationships, but Ava couldn’t do that back? *Shrugs*

And this might make me sound so freaking old, but damn does Gen sleep with a lot of people. I have no issues with the people, I just DO PEOPLE DO THAT AT 18? Just sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want, like a buffet? It seriously skeeved me out. Sure, she was exploring her sexuality but damn, four people in what seems like the space of a week? I’m not even the type who thinks you should only sleep with the person you marry (I swear) I suppose I just like one person at a time kinda thing and not the whole one-night-stand thing Gen went for. Good for her, but man, I could so see her ending up on Jerry Springer!

I loved Ava. Yes, she was a bit stuck up and wasn’t always tactful, but I could see myself in her. I would ask all those questions, whether it was right or wrong, because I learn better when someone tells me of their experiences than Googling it and getting the wrong answers. Their friendship was so incredible but it also kinda seemed a lot one sided, sometimes, with Ava more into it than Gen.

I just felt like this book wanted to be EVERYTHING. It’s 288 pages long and bear in mind a lot of that is text messages, so it’s not like there’s tons of words in it, and yet it dealt with E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. The LGBTQ rep was fantastic, but I felt let down by Ava’s mental health rep. Again, I’m no expert; I learn by reading books and Googling and reading stuff on social media, but I felt let down. Like it was there, sure, but it wasn’t the main focus and no focus was really on it, there’s self-harm and it’s just brushed over, like “Don’t do it again, or else” and I mean that’s kinda harmful, right?! Ava says it's a coping mechanism but I mean that doesn’t make self-harm right? But I don’t know! I wish I knew more, I wish I could say whether people should read this book or steer clear (I feel like the whole self-harm thing should mean anyone triggered by that steers clear because it seems wrong?) but I just do not have enough knowledge.

I wanted to love I Hate Everyone But You, but it just tried to do too much. You don’t need to shoe-horn every single plot ever written, ever, into one book. Especially not when that book is in epistolary form. It took me so freaking long to sort Ava’s voice from Gen’s because their text messages aren’t named, they just have stupid emojis (BIG mistake). I just… I don’t even know if this review will go live anywhere, because I don’t know if it’s okay what I’ve said. I don’t know I won’t be jumped on for not agreeing with Gen’s lifestyle (I couldn’t care less who she sleeps with gender-wise, I just care that it’s tons of different people) and I just… I don’t know. I didn’t like it as much as I thought I did and I had a ton of issues.