Sassy Sarcastic Journal Publishing

Honestly, I Don't Even Play an Active Role in My Life Anymore. Things Just Happen

This Too Shall Pass. It Might Pass Like a Kidney Stone. But It Will Pass

Be Real with Me, or Just Leave Me Alone

Can You Put Vodka in a Humidifier? Asking for a Friend

Stop Expecting Normal from Me

I Think My Guardian Angel Drinks

Step Aside Coffee This Is a Job for Alcohol

Please Be Patient. I'm Fucking Things Up as Fast as I Can

I'm in a Good Place Right Now. Not Emotionally. I'm Just at the Liquor Store

I Finally Got 8 Hours of Sleep. Took Me Four Days But Whatever

My Sarcasm and My Sincerity Sounds Surprisingly Similar

And Not a Single Fuck Was Given Today

Sometimes I Wish I Was an Octopus So I Could Slap 8 People at Once

Who Sprinkled the Bitchy Dust?

I Can't Wait for the Day When You Realize You Fucked Up

Yeah. I Just Said That. Welcome to My Brain. You May Wanna Buckle Up

If 40 Is the New 30, and 50 Is the New 40, Why Can't Thursday Be the New Friday?

Marriage Tip #46

I'm Too Tired for This

The Early Bird Can Have the Worm Because Worms Are Gross and Mornings Are Stupid

When Killing Them with Kindness Doesn't Work Try Voodoo

An Apple a Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough

My Mind Is My Weapon

Wish I Was an Octopus So I Could Slap 8 People at Once