Monsieur Pamplemousse
1 primary work • 17 total works
Book 14
During his time as an inspector with the Paris Surete, Monsieur Pamplemousse had been "in at the death" on more than one occasion; but the phrase took on an entirely new meaning when he was present at the spectacular ending to Cuisine de Chavignol, France's premier television cooking program. Seated in the front row, he watched in silent horror as the host, having downed an oyster in close-up, uttered a strangled cry and slowly but surely disappeared from view behind a kitchen worktop. As screens across France went blank, hands reached for the telephone and the media swung into action. Eyes glued to the Pamplemousses' television, Pommes Frites, dog extraordinaire, has his own views on the matter. Claude Chavignol was a bad egg if ever he'd seen one, and in his experience villains seldom came out smelling of roses. Subsequent events prove him right as usual, but not before both he and his master find themselves caught up in a bizarre world of unrequited lust, murder and blackmail in high places.
According to the Director of Le Guide, France's premier gastronomic companion, it is high time his inspectors moved with the times and opened their ranks to the fairer sex. And who better to oversee their initiation than Monsieur Pamplemousse?However, when the Director, normally a model of rectitude, hints that on no account must the trainee be allowed to make the grade, Monsieur Pamplemousse is suitably outraged. His indignation lasts only until he hears her name. The Director is right. The lady in question is known to be utterly unscrupulous in the use of her considerable physical charms and her permanent engagement would cause unrest amongst the other inspectors, not to mention their wives.But there are other problems. Having blackmailed the Director into taking her on, why is she so insistent on staying at the Hotel des Dunes; an out-of-the-way establishment in the Gironde, unremarked even by the Camping Club of France, let alone by any of the major guides? Certainly not because of the food, as Monsieur Pamplemousse dejectedly discovers.And why, having created a scene because she didn't get the room she wanted, should one of her first acts be to photograph the dismal interior of the hotel?When Monsieur Pamplemousse's ever-faithful bloodhound Pommes Frites is seen ambling back to the hotel carrying a suspiciously large jambon, Monsieur Pamplemousse realises that once again he must stand firm against the forces of crime...
Le Guide, France's premier gastronomic guide, is failing to whet the appetite of its audience in America. Bribed by the Director with offers of some time off, Monsieur Pamplemousse agrees to flex his literary muscles in a bid to address the problem by writing a play. The result is the ex-detective's directorial debut, complete with walk-on part for faithful bloodhound Pommes Frites. Everything rests on their special guest, Jay Corby, the acclaimed American food-critic, whose good opinion could change their transatlantic fortunes. But disaster strikes on opening night when a manoeuvre with a trapdoor causes Corby to storm out in a rage. Monsieur Pamplemousse must find him before he ruins everything for Le Guide. Once again he can rely on star sniffer dog Pommes Frites, who is hot on the trail of their only lead: a flimsy undergarment belonging to an exotic dancer they came across in a state of undress before the start of the show.
When Monsieur Pamplemousse gets an urgent summons from the Director of Le Guide, he knew that there was trouble at the top. His faithful canine companion, Pommes Frites, noticed it too. But neither of them expected that the trouble would involve a nun who was in the habit of joining the Mile High Club or a full-scale smear campaign targeting Le Guide's credibility as France's premiere restaurant and hotel guide. Someone has been spreading worrying rumors among the staff and infiltrating the company files - awarding hotels prizes for bedbugs and praising egg and chips signature dishes. Even Pommes Frites has become a victim of the assault. It could all spell the ruin for Le Guide, but Pamplemousse is on the case...
Monsieur Pamplemousse and his trusty dog, Pommes Frites are called into Le Guide's offices early one morning and presented with a string of Leclercq's plaintive conundrums - all relating to his mobster uncle-in-law. These include a letter about a juicy steak turned brisket, a dead restaurant owner and a giant truffle delivered by post . With all these seemingly random problems at hand, Pamplemousse attempts to unravel each but it quickly proves impossible as they overlap and tangle at every turn - usually making him look the fool.
Bond's charming food inspector and part time detective has a tricky task in sampling the appalling cuisine of the Hotel du Paradis. Tricky due to the fact that it's run by his Director's formidable aunt, and intriguing given the tales of the effect of the hotel's food on it's gues
Critic/sleuth Pamplemousse has a lot on his plate when he investigates a terrible and strangely popular hotel.
Having delivered a particularly stirring speech at his recently deceased colleague's funeral, Monsieur Pamplemousse is more than a little disturbed when the coffin explodes into flames during the ceremony. Luckily, his faithful hound Pommes Frites gives out a warning cry just in time, so there are not casualties. But, who exactly is behind this explosion - and what was the actual cause of his late co-workers demise? This latest in their wild romps find the entertaining duo meeting a CIA agent masquerading as a celebrity chef with a penchant for Krispy Kremes, causing chaos at a prestigious hotel, and experimenting with a dog translator. With delectable wit, sharp dialogue and a marvellous sense of timing, this latest in the adventures of M Pamplemousse and his beloved hound, will have you chuckling out loud and crying out for more.
When one of five restaurant-owning brothers vanishes into thin air, Monsieur Pamplemousse's detective skills are called into play. A delicious blend of gastronomic delight, teasing mystery, and pure comedy.
The annual launch of Le Guide, France's most prestigious restaurant companion, is always a red-letter day for its publishers. The year the Director has a particularly momentous announcement to make: the inauguration of the Golden Shock Pot Lid, a unique commendation to the best restaurant in France, awarded not according to the vagaries of mere human inspectors such as Monsieur Pamplemousse, but by the immaculate calculations of Le Guide's latest acquisition - a Poulanc DB23 mainframe computer. However, there is many a slip 'twixt Stock Pot and Lid and when the ceremonial 'Entry' button is pressed the resultant print-out is a travesty of everything Le Guide stands for. All too clearly, someone has nobbled the programme. With only days to go before publication, it falls to Monsieur Pamplemousse to investigate the mystery. Accompanied by his ever-faithful hound Pommes Frites, he is soon up to his ears in a bizarre world of bytes, rams and nibbles, and pitted against a foe who has but one aim in life: to heap disgrace on Le Guide, and in so doing bring about the downfall of Monsieur le Directeur himself...
Called to a Provencal film set to vouch for the gastronomic authenticity of director Von Strudel's latest Biblical advertising extravaganza (what was on the menu at the Last Supper?) restaurant inspector Monsieur Pamplemousse is surprised to find his sleuthing skills, acquired during a stint at the Surete, considerably more in demand. Exploding strawberries, adulterated cast food and sundry other mysterious occurrences all point to a saboteur or, at best, an infuriating prankster on the set. But when the star of the sequence of perfume adverts, Brother Angelo, a heavy-metal heart-throb who has been cast against type as Jesus Christ, seemingly vanishes into thin air, it is clear matters have gone beyond a joke.
Monsieur Pamplemousse is looking forward to a well earned break in the South of France courtesy of his employer - all he has to do is collect an artwork for Le Guide's Director. But when his contact fails to show and a dismembered body is washed up outside the hotel the holiday mood evaporates. Monsieur Pamplemousse on Vacation is packed full of the charming blend of comedy, crime and cuisine that Michael Bond's creations have become famed for. It is something to be savoured.
The Channel Tunnel is all very well as a mundane means of crossing La Manche but there are those who still believe in airships as the luxury transport of the future. In a rare spirit of entente cordiale, the governments of France and Britain agree to a trial run, and plan a grand inaugural flight involving their heads of state. But - quelle horreur! - the organisers have overlooked the most important part of every French occasion - the food and the wine. Honour is at stake and a desperate call for help goes out to Le Guide, France's most distinguished gastronomic publication. Monsieur Pamplemousse, ex Surete sleuth turned food inspector, is called on to rectify matters.The assignment gets off to an inauspicious start. As he nears the launch site in Brittany, Monsieur Pamplemousse's 2CV is run off the road by a carful of decidedly ungodly nuns. And the lady trapeze artist who rescues him clearly has something other than the evening's acrobatics preying on her mind. When an old friend cuts him dead, he suspects the worst...
When France's leading gastronomic guidebook decides to launch itself into the expanding health farm market, its Director decides Monsieur Pamplemousse is the man for the job: overweight, underactive, with a blood pressure count that threatens to shoot off the top of the scale.So the former Surete detective finds himself banished to the punitive regime of the Chateau Morgue, a Pyrenean health clinic from which a number of damning reports have already emerged, centred largely on its shady-sounding owner, Herr Schmuck.The Chateau Morgue fulfils Pamplemousse's grimmest expectations; obligatory dawn snow tramps, rock-hard beds and meals comprised solely of muddy spa water. And it also provokes his deepest suspicions. Why does a hearse pay such frequent visits? What is going on in the astoundingly luxurious Tower Block? And what is the significance of the delicious parcel of sausages sniffed out by Pamplemousse's indispensable bloodhound, Pommes Frites? With Pamplemousse and Pommes Frites on the trail truth is finally revealed - but not before their sleuthing stamina has been tested to its absolute limits...
Monsieur Pamplemousse finds himself in deep water when an unfortunate collision with a Mother Superior is caught on camera by the French tabloids. To avoid media attention, he is sent to the Auvergne to report on legendary chef Andre Dulac, currently in line for Le Guide's top award of a Golden Stock Pot Lid, and opens a can of worms which threatens the very sanctiyt of France's premier gastronomic bible. Being on the edge of haute cuisine takes on a whole new meaning, and his attempt to get at the truth by harnessing a state-of-the-art TV camera to his ever-faithful hound Pommes Frites, ensures that outside broadcasting will never be quite the same again.
Ever eager to expand the influence of France's leading gastronomic guidebook beyond her native shores, the Director of Le Guide has been cultivating a useful transatlantic connection in the form of a certain Mrs Van Dorman. Ex-parfumier, presently a publishing magnate and, in her spare time,a fan of private-eye novels, Mrs Van Dorman has deserted the relative safety of La Grande Pomme to accompany a group of crime writers to a recreation in Vichy of a banquet given by Alexandre Dumas before he started work on yet another sequel to The Three Musketeers. And who better to escort her than Monsieur Pamplemousse, Surete sleuth turned top-rank gourmet? Monsieur Pamplemousse himself could think of a number of more suitable candidates, especially when it becomes apparent that the assignment involves a grand entry dressed as d'Artagnan, mounted on an uncomfortably rampant black charger. But when cyanide turns out to be a surprise ingredient of the murder tour it is soon clear that Monsieur Pamplemousse - aided by the unerring nose of bloodhound Pommes Frites - is the only man for the job...
As edible snails in France are threatened out of existence, Monsieur Pamplemousse lectures to wine buffs. There is worse to come -- skulduggery among the vines turns out to be the least of his worries."