How it Works: The Dog

by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris

Published 20 October 2016

THE PERFECT GIFT for people who value friendship, uncompromising love, dribble, chewed up furniture and miles and miles of walking to go to the toilet.
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'The dog is often called a man's best friend.

Dogs are reliable, loyal and loving, like all best friends.

They also smell like a bobble hat full of corned beef that has been left on a parcel shelf of a locked car for a fortnight during a hot spell. But there are some things you don't mention to a best friend.'
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'Once a week, Patsy vacuums up all the dog hair in her house.

When she has finished the sofa she will do the carpets, inside the oven, in the powder tray of the washing machine, between the pages of the book she is reading, and behind the wallpaper.

'How did it get there?' laughs Patsy while coughing up a hair-ball.'
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This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


The PERFECT GIFT for that special grandparent you know so well and love with all your heart but whom you haven't got a clue what to get her for a present. Not a bloody clue.
_______________________________________

Grandparents are versatile.

They are babysitters, weather forecasters, mother's helpers, sweet collectors, child-minders, knitwear suppliers, au pairs, curators of G-plan furniture and providers of day-care for the under twelves.

Retirement is an exhausting job.
_______________________________________

Grandparents spend a lot of time in the garden making everything tidy and pretty, so they have something tidy and pretty to look at while they are doing the gardening

_______________________________________

This delightful book is part of the Ladybird series specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
The Ladybird Book of the Meeting
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse


How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster


How it Works: The Cat

by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris

Published 20 October 2016

THE PERFECT GIFT for those who value elegance, affection, cold hearted killing and expensive, clawed to death furniture.
__________________________________

'A pet can be great fun.

Cats are warm and fluffy, like cuddly toys, and their owners give them lots of time and affection.

And, just like cuddly toys, they do very little in return.'
__________________________________

'Over thousands of years, we have developed a special relationship with the animals that share our homes.

Dogs have evolved to serve many sorts of human needs.

And humans have evolved to serve many sorts of cat food.'
__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


How It Works: The Mum

by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris

Published 11 February 2016

The PERFECT GIFT for Mum would be to let her take the day off while you do everything for her. Why not get her this book instead?

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This is mum.

A mum has two very important jobs to do. One is to look after her children.

The other is to do everything else as well.

----------------

Now Lyndsay's little boy is at nursery, she is looking for a job.

At this interview, the lady asks Lyndsay all sorts of questions, which Lyndsay has trouble answering because she has the Octonauts theme going round her head.

Lyndsay hopes she is not singing out loud.

----------------

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist


THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who not only loves watching their favourite TV series over and over, but also enjoys reading online forums about their favourite TV series over and over.
__________________________________

'This is a nerd.

He has a PhD and works in the biochemistry lab of a university hospital.

But this is not what makes him a nerd.

His catalogued and indexed collection of over 6,000 empty crisp packets does that.'
__________________________________

'These nerds have paid money to see a film they think is terrible and have seen at least thirty times before.

They are having the most fun they can possibly have.'
__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
How it Works: The Baby
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star
A Ladybird First Grown-Up Picture Book

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


Got some time on your hands? Then why not make yourself a cup of tea, grab a biscuit and settle down in your favourite armchair to read this unputdownable guide to The Quiet Night In . . .

Marianne has been staying in a watching old episodes of Sex And The City for two weeks now.

The women in the show remind Marianne of her and her friends.

Except that the women in Sex And The City never stay in for two weeks watching old episodes of Sex And The City.
__________

There is a pop disco at the community centre tonight, but the word 'community' brings Davey out in a cold sweat.

Some people suffer from F.O.M.O., the fear of missing out.

Davey is delighted that he has F.O.J.I., the fear of joining in.

__________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious'
Stylist

Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Shed, The Meeting, The New You, and more.


THE PERFECT GIFT for the music lover.
__________________________________

'This is the rock star. His name is Bob Dylan.

Bob is rehearsing with his band. It takes a long time.

First the band have to learn all of Bob's famous songs.

Then Bob has to think of worse tunes he can sing over all of them.'

__________________________________


'Coldplay's singer Chris Martin has spent weeks working with an important stylist. They have come up with an exciting look for the band's new tour.

'These great clothes make me look really interesting,' thinks Chris as he sits down at the piano to practise another slow, sad song that gets slightly louder at the end.'

__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist


Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
How it Works: The Baby
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
A Ladybird First Grown-Up Picture Book

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who spends Christmas Day counting the minutes until the Boxing Day sales start.
__________________________________

'There are two important days at Christmas.

There is Christmas Day, when everyone is jolly and hungry and very pleased to see each other.

And there is Boxing Day'
__________________________________

'Jonathan and Oriane have gone for a Boxing Day walk with Transformers the dog.

Walking is healthy. It will help them digest their dinner.

And by the time they get home, Jonathan's father might have finished being racist and fallen asleep in his liquorice allsorts.'
__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist


Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


How it Works: The Husband

by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris

Published 29 October 2015

The handy guide to the HUSBAND makes the PERFECT GIFT for any long-suffering wife or prospective bride to give to their beloved husband.
____________________


'The wife likes to read romantic fiction. The books are a fantasy and an escape for her.

The husband does not waste his time on silly stories. He likes to read books about things that really happened and tales of real men.

Reading these will be invaluable if he ever has to land on the moon or be in the S.A.S. or help manage the England football team.'

____________________

'The husband likes to do simple repairs, like changing the washer on a tap.


Afterwards he likes to talk at great length about what a struggle it was, and will want to be treated as if he has invented a machine that turns farts into gold.'

____________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist


THE PERFECT GIFT for people who ride their Harleys to work while wearing guyliner and winklepickers, even in freezing temperatures.
__________________________________

Jason's mid-life crisis started one Sunday morning in B&Q when he spotted a tub of boat varnish.

'I will never own a boat,' he thought to himself.

Jason has never wanted to own a boat. But now, not owning one is all he can think about.'
__________________________________

'Sally has tried lots of things to make herself feel younger: running, glamping, Pilates, adult colouring books, a 'mummy make-over,' Bikram planking, Platonic irrigation and having an inappropriate relationship with a rangy twenty-something intern called Zeb, who has three beards and a Lego earring.

Sally has given up and is now thinking of joining the National Trust.'
__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


THE PERFECT GIFT for the lonely, the deluded and the desperate.
__________________________________

It is Barney and Leigh's wedding day. They have certainly come a long way from their first date.

They have learned to supress their personalities and pretend they want the same things, so they will be able to put up with each other for several years.

Everyone is happy for them.

Their story is over.
__________________________________

Marcus and Fiona have had three dates.

Fiona knows this means she will either end up spending the rest of her life with Marcus, or eventually have to break up with him, horribly.

Both of these ideas are terrifying to Fiona.

Tomorrow Fiona will fake her own death and join Cirque du Soleil.

__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist


How it Works: The Wife

by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris

Published 29 October 2015

The PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for.

--------------------

Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life.

Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs.

Neither is true. The best day of her life was on her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike.

--------------------

The wife likes surprises.

Her favourite sort is a surprise birthday party.

It is the husband's job to organise this surprise for her, and to keep her informed of every detail about it.

--------------------

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist


Too little or too much company can be stressful. By discovering all about Mindfulness, you can get away from it all by hiding out in the comfort of your own head . . .

'Valentine became a Buddhist because he was interested in dharma.

Dharma is a word for cosmic law and order.

Valentine is sad. He thought dharma was a type of curry.'

__________

'Alison has been staring at this beautiful tree for five hours.

She was meant to be in the office. Tomorrow she will be fired.

In this way, mindfulness will have solved her work-related stress.'

__________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The Shed, The Meeting, The New You, and more.


The perfect guide for those spending a little too much time in the shed . . .

Using your shed as an office is called shedworking.

Bunny works from his shed. He is a freelance cow-whisperer.

At least, that's what he tells his wife. Bunny is unemployed.

__________

'Michael and Gwen are looking for the placemats Gwen's mother bought them for Christmas.

'Quick,' says Gwen. 'She will be here in twenty minutes!'

'I bet we hid them in here,' says Michael, closing himself inside the quiet shed.

Michael says he will not give up looking for the mats in the shed, even if it takes him all day.'

__________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The People Next Door, The Zombie Apocalypse, The Meeting, and more.


THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who likes a glass of red. And a double gin. And a vodka shot. And a flaming tequila. And a candy floss caipirinha . . . and a small Bahama Mama.
__________________________________

'A good hangover should be a total mystery to you. How did this happen? Why do you feel so ill?

Pretend to yourself that you drank less than you did. Insist you stuck to beer, forgetting the champagne at the start of the evening and the round of jalapeno tequilas you did for a bet in that club next to the dual carriageway at 2am.'
__________________________________

'What a confusing world it can seem with a hangover.

Sit as still as you can. Do not attempt to make any decisions.

Look out of the window. Can you recognise simple shapes or colours? Is there a moon or a sun in the sky? What sort of a name might you have? Where might there be bacon?'
__________________________________

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

'Hilarious' Stylist

Other new titles for Autumn 2017:
How it Works: The Brother
How it Works: The Sister
The Ladybird Book of the Ex
The Ladybird Book of the Nerd
The Ladybird Book of the New You
The Ladybird Book of Balls
The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out
The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In
People at Work: The Rock Star

Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
How it Works: The Dad
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
How it Works: The Student
How it Works: The Cat
How it Works: The Dog
How it Works: The Grandparent
The Ladybird Book of Red Tape
The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse
The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder


The PERFECT GIFT for the terminally cool.
_________________________________________________

This is a hipster.

He is childless, unaccountably wealthy, and always well turned out.

He likes art, porridge,s carves, and anything reclaimed from French factories . . .
_________________________________________________

Hipsters like to collect old things that are unfashionable, because that makes them fashionable.

Vintage washing-up bowls are highly prized, because they look neither retro nor valuable, and therefore both.
_________________________________________________

This delightful book is part of a Ladybird series specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

Also available:
How it Works: The Husband
How it Works: The Wife
How it Works: The Mum
The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The Ladybird Book of Dating
The Ladybird Book of the Hipster