My copy is even signed (that I will always treasure) but it took awhile to finally read it due to life issues that made me hesitant to commit to such emotional reading. Everyone loved this and I love John Green so I was so sure this would rock my world.
It was work putting my thoughts in order after reading. Several articles linked throughout this review showcase considerations both before and after. This John Green Interview helped clarify and solidify where I agreed and didn't. I quote it several times here.
Reading...
Sadly, I wasn't able to avoid all spoilers between time. Not major plot points but stuff like the cigarette metaphor. (That was just frustratingly stupid and he's still supporting the tobacco industry, disregarding Hazel's objections.) This may have caused me to drag my feet more and hamper my reading experience. It's impossible to tell.
But the fact is, I didn't cry at all. Yeah, it's sad. As a parent there were several moments that just hurt physically in my chest, like Hazel speaking with her mom about her mom's life and worrying about what happens when Hazel dies. Imagining that made me hug my daughter.
However, there was still that disconnect and I didn't cry. I can't specifically pin point why. Did I finally hit a wall where I can't place myself in the story with the characters feeling as them? Was it the language, how these characters spoke? Am I just too old for this shit? Too predicable? Too much hype? Wish I knew.
Plot...
I really shouldn't have have worried about spoilers. It was obvious. The trip was going so well, something had to crash and burn. Whadda ya know, the author's an asshole.
Cancer's awful and unpredictable. Someone is dying. Sure, the friend lost his sight but death was the dark cloud you could spot in the distance. Hazel's death would be because the miracle drug stopped working thus others would also die and that's a bit much. Who's next? Oh, I know the one that's suppose to make it, that's totally shocking. Plus, that's what happened to ASA's protagonist which would be too on the nose.
Now everything sucks, so let's have a ray of light. Lookie, the author's back to redeem himself. But this is “heartbreaking and inspiring”, so it's just a tiny one.
And Hazel gets her closure. Admittedly, that last letter and words are fantastic. Despite everything, that got to me.
There's also John Green's own confession of “cheerfully ignoring” advice on medical matters when it “suited his whims” in his Acknowledgments. Obviously, that's his prerogative and good for him for admitting it. Much better than making up lies and lame defenses.
However, there are people who cannot accept the way the story unfolds with Green's whims of cheerful ignorance. As much as the first part builds up Hazel's daily struggle, it wanes and is downright neglected later.
Related Link: Oncologists Reflect on 'The Fault in Our Stars'
I'm glad Green included their sexuality and expression. He even did it purposefully...
{..} (and I also wanted to acknowledge that sick and disabled people are still sexual people, and that there’s nothing wrong with their sexuality, which I guess was a little preachy of me, but so it goes.)
Sounds good! He did good (as far as I can tell) including using the nasal cannula and positions but...
It's hard to imagine a young woman who absolutely suffers through stairs because of her pride (on her good days, bad days she caves for the elevator) lasting through sex on top without something happening.
Of course, it's Hazel's story and given how it's described as slow (though I don't buy the silent “nonspeaking” part), she doesn't get into it because that's her.
Maybe I'm wrong and it's just creepy to write or too close to voyeurism or fetishism. But it sure looks like another part of a pattern. Despite that he “didn’t want to sentimentalize or romanticize anything in the book” in a romantic epic.
Related & Important Social Justice Reading:
What Disabled People Can Teach Us About Sex and Why We Should Listen
How People With Disabilities Have Sex
And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the make-out in Anne Frank's house, but others do it better and are wonderfully thought-provoking.
On John Green & Being a Fan...
I've been a fan of John Green since I found Looking for Alaska in my middle school library over 10 years ago.
It's classic John Green. That might be another thing that worked against me though. I don't know and it's really sad to think I grew out of him as an author. After reading Paper Towns, and liking it less, I'm really worried. ***Sigh***
If you don't like John Green, I wouldn't recommend it unless you have an affinity for “cancer books” or YA romance. It has it's moments. I liked Hazel's thoughts on Cancer Kid Perks, and people without disabilities.
There's a reason why I kept thinking about inspiration porn (Further Reading) while reading her and the reviews after. I cannot help but wonder what Hazel would think of TFiOS and its fan base.
Of course, even if you write it right, other people can fuck it up.