How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox

How It Feels to Float

by Helena Fox

"Profoundly moving . . . Will take your breath away." —Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces

"Give this to all your friends immediately . . . It tackles mental health, depression, sexual identity, and anxiety with beauty and empathy." —Cosmopolitan.com

A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year
A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best of the Year


Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface—normal okay regular fine. She has her friends, her mom, the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything—not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And not about seeing her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven.

But after what happens on the beach, the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Her dad disappears and, with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Debut author Helena Fox tells a story about love, grief, and inter-generational mental illness, exploring the hard and beautiful places loss can take us, and honoring those who hold us tightly when the current wants to tug us out to sea.

"I haven't been so dazzled by a YA in ages." —Jandy Nelson, author of I'll Give You the Sun (via SLJ)
"Mesmerizing and timely." —Bustle
"Nothing short of exquisite." —PopSugar
"Immensely satisfying"Girls' Life
* "Lyrical and profoundly affecting."Kirkus (starred review)
* "Masterful...Just beautiful."Booklist (starred review)
* "Intimate...Unexpected." —PW (starred review)
* "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness."BCCB (starred review)
* "Frank [and] beautifully crafted." —BookPage (starred review)
"Deeply moving...A story of hope." —Common Sense Media
"This book will explode you into atoms." —Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels
"Helena Fox's novel delivers. Read it." —Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue
"This is not a book; it is a work of art." —Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned
"Perfect...Readers will be deeply moved." —Books+Publishing

Reviewed by layawaydragon on

5 of 5 stars

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I don’t know how I feel about this. I devoured it quickly initially. I love parts of it and I can personally vouch for how well it depicts somethings. But then it became harder to read the deeper it delved because of how well it depicts the struggle. 

I was broken between Biz and her mother, the inverted version of me & mine and maybe the future with my daughter.

I did google the movie Biz talked about, and that helped quite a bit with her parents and their relationships. 

How It Feels To Float feels so right, terrifying and hopeful. I’m glad it didn’t go down The Beautiful Mind route. I mean, I loved that movie at the time, but we so need to move on from it.

I’m glad I read it. I hope others read it too. I hope they learn and research and become better. But enjoy it? Eh....perhaps it’s a defense mechanism or just plain anxiety, where as much as I want representation I worry about what the neurotypicals will do armed with it. 
But it is great.

Run Down:
>Exploring sexuality
>Accidental ableism
>Dead father
>Terrible mysterious past
>Slow reveal suicide
>Single mother
>Younger twin siblings
>Breakdown, detachment, hallucinations, edited memory, 
>Motorcycle rides
>Almost drowning
>Running away on a modern coming of age quest
>Cute, friendly, verge of something couple
>Dropping out of school
>Sweet understanding grandma friend
>Photography classes

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  • 4 August, 2019: Reviewed