City of Halves

by Lucy Inglis

[pamela]

There is only one thing I felt after finishing City of Halves... Why? Why did anything in this book happen? Some of the ideas were cool, and in the hands of a much more talented writer, this book would honestly have had some potential - but nothing in this novel went anywhere, or meant anything. Also, what is with teen fiction these days and irresponsible parenting (the parents *in* the stories, not parents who let their children read them)?

Meet Lily, a generic, pretty blonde who is totally pretty, but totally doesn't think she's pretty, but who her friends and family constantly tell she's pretty, but she's totally so modest that she will never admit that she's pretty. Lily falls for the hunky broody guy with all the tattoos who is apparently handsome, but all I know about him is that he has tattoos and an 'angular' face. Lily also has a Dad. He is claimed to be a human rights lawyer (although he only seems to cover white-collar crime) who uses his daughter's 'hacking' skills to violate people's human rights. His name is Ed. That's all I know about him.

These humans live in an alternate future where healthcare is no longer free and struggling 'human rights' lawyers can afford to live in Temple and go out for dinner every night. Lily tells us that her Dad isn't wealthy, so to live the way they do (new phones and laptops for Christmas?) this alterna-London must be very different from the one I lived in! Set primarily within the boundaries of the London Wall, it turns out that every myth and legend you've ever heard about is real. Literally, every single one. It's like Lucy Inglis took a crowbar to the top of her novel, prised it open, and just shovelled that shit in there. She introduces so many characters who are only in the book for a page that I didn't know who was who anymore! There was just too much information with too little actually happening.

The main antagonists of the plot, a shadowy group known as 'The Agency' make almost no sense. Lily and her hunky BF Regan, of course, have to thwart their completely illegal, immoral, and inhumane plot to...cure cancer? I wish I were kidding. The bad guys in City of Halves are trying to cure cancer. But, somehow all of this has to do with a prophecy in which Lily will be the one drive back the Chaos. The prophecy and the Chaos War become the driving force of the last quarter of the novel but have literally nothing to do with the plot. Literally. Nothing. I've thought about it long and hard, and managed to make a connection to two pages at the end of a chapter involving a stone, but that was all. Also, given that the prophecy didn't come true in any sense of the word, Lily saved nothing (ok, I guess she *did* move a stone), and SPOILER ALERT hunky BF doesn't die, the Prophecy part of the novel served no function.

I was going to write more and have a good old rant, but I thought to myself once again...why? Why waste even one more precious second of my life on this garbage? If anyone reads this review, please do yourself a favour, never, never, ever read City of Halves.