If He Had Been with Me

by Laura Nowlin

[Cocktails and Books]

I couldn't resist this book. I am a sucker for a best friends coming of age story and this one sounded like a heartrending, tearjerker...and it was that and more. I absolutely loved Autumn and Phineas. The book had such a rich mix of relationship dynamics from sisterhood to parent/child to male/female relationships. I think every single bond was explored in this book in a very relatable way with excellent writing by the author.

The author achieved quite a feat because you knew something tragic was going to happen, but you couldn't help but keep reading anyway. Most of the time if you know how a book ends there is no point in reading it, but this book had so much in the lines of the text and meaning between the lines that it almost seemed like I could focus more on the story at the time rather than how it ended.

I laughed at the quirks of childhood and adolescence. I cried at the growing pains that Phineas and Autumn had. My heart broke when Autumn described what it was like to live with someone with mental illness and experienced her own bout with it. I smiled when I read about the strong bond between the mothers of Phineas and Autumn. There's something about knowing your bestie (who happens to also be your next door neighbor) is right there with you through the thick and thin.

This book sucked me in and wouldn't let me go. I became far more invested in the storyline and these characters than I ever intended. I was doing the silent scream for Phineas not to leave...as if I could keep him from going. I actually found myself putting my hand over my ipad and saying no Phineas please change your mind, but he left and I cried right along with the characters. I'm not sure if I like the way the author left the story sort of hanging at the end. I would love to know the results of the test but then again could I stand it if it wasn't what I wanted it to be? So read the book and judge for yourself. It wasn't a fast paced read but you will enjoy the journey. This goes to the top of my MUST READ list.

Reviewed by Michelle for Cocktails and Books