Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

Gender Queer: A Memoir

by Maia Kobabe

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns,thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographicalcomic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortablewith strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intenselycathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes themortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to comeout to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, andfacing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way toexplain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer ismore than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on genderidentity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates,friends, and humans everywhere.  

Reviewed by lovelybookshelf on

4 of 5 stars

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This graphic memoir follows the author as e questions eir gender and sexual identities (nonbinary and asexual). It's important to remember this is one individual's story, but its greatest strength is how Kobabe differentiates between cis people who resist gender expectations and how a person comes to understand they are nonbinary. E is open about the many questions e had along the way, and readers are invited to think through those questions with em.


There were a couple spots that I recognized as normal parts of this journey, but I wish these moments were fleshed out a bit more. My fear is that cis readers who don't have the knowledge to fill in the blanks might miss the overall point and be tempted to medicalize gender identity.


This is solidly for YA audiences and older due to graphic descriptions of dealing with menstruation, traumatic gynecological exams, and sexual experimentation.

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Reading updates

  • Started reading
  • 20 July, 2020: Finished reading
  • 20 July, 2020: Reviewed