Marrying Out of Money

by Nicky Schmidt

[Leah]

Lou Hubbard is desperately in love with rock-star boyfriend Hedge, but will do almost anything to keep her father’s ill-health at bay. So when Lou’s mother decides to arrange a marriage of convenience for Lou, to aristocrat Harry Stomeworth, Lou is determined to get out of it by any means necessary despite the fact her mother Victoria keeps telling Lou it’s her fault her father is ill. In her bid to scare away Harry, Lou decides to become as undesirable as possible, but when she realises that it’ll take a lot more than that to chase away the cash-hungry Stomeworth’s, she’s got her work cut out for her. Do Harry and Lou really hate each other, and will Lou eventually be able to stop her mother’s crazy schemes for good?

I absolutely adored Nicky Schmidt’s debut novel Naked In Knightsbridge, it was funny and I read it within a matter of hours, not wanting to put it down. So when I heard Nicky would be publishing at least another two novels I was thrilled to bits. Marrying Out of Money was due to come out in March 2010 but for some reason or another (I don’t know what), the book kept getting delayed, and delayed, and delayed. I began to think it was never going to come out. But lo and behold, it was confirmed the book would be out in March 2011. I got a proof copy in February and was thrilled to receive it, less so when I saw it was 400 loose pieces of paper! However I persevered with the ‘book’ I had received and I loved it even more than her debut novel!

If you’re going to read Marrying Out of Money then you’re going to have to do one thing before you start it: you’re going to have to be prepared to suspend your belief. Because Marrying Out of Money is a bit of a screwball read. The book, it has to be said, is completely and utterly unreal, in the nicest sense of the word. The characters are insane (more on them later!), the plot is ridiculous and it’s just plain crazy. Good crazy, it has to be said. It’s miles different from Naked In Knightsbridge it has to said, despite the fact Naked In Knightsbridge had its screwball moments. The plot is about Lou, a coffee-heiress who ends up having to get herself out of an arranged marriage because her mother wants to be royalty. Told you it was crazy. To do that, Lou decides to make herself as ugly and undesirable as possible making for some hilarious results (the purple look is a total winner, it has to be said!).

But despite all the craziness within the novel there are more serious aspects in the book. Lou’s best friend, the Sloaney Fin has a plot of her own, one that can be a real warning to people. It definitely brought the book down to a more normal level at times, and I applaud Schmidt for including it in the novel. It would have been very easy for Fin to just be a regular run-of-the-mill socialite living off Daddy’s money and partying like the world’s about to end. But, no, Fin is portrayed much more than that and it made me so sad that she decided to face so much of it alone, for fear of being pitied by Lou and those around her. I was so involved in Fin’s story that I almost wanted to cry when I found out what was wrong with her and she’s a character a lot of people will come to love. She’s a real dark horse kind of character, always in the background seemingly, but manages to propel herself into the limelight.

Most of the characters in Marrying Out of Money were certifiably insane. I mean laugh out loud insane. Total and utter nuts. Lou, Fin and to some extent Harry were the only seemingly normal ones of the bunch. Lou makes for a brilliant heroine. Because she’s a bit posh I wasn’t sure I would take to her at first, but I did, I took to her very quickly and it was like I lived every single page with her. She was a brilliant main character, and she wasn’t as posh as I thought which was good to know. As you know, I loved Fin and was totally taken by her. As for Harry, I wasn’t entirely convinced by him at the beginning. Both he and Lou were horrible to each other and I didn’t like him but slowly and surely he began to warm on me as the book progressed. The two mothers, Victoria and Morphia were insane. Totally insane. Victoria is very stupid, but also very conniving making for a very convincing character we love to hate and boy did I hate her and her stupid grasp of the English language yet I did find her strangely appealing, what gives? Ditto Harry’s mother who was a vampire in disguise, I’m sure of it. Hedge (yes that is his real name), Lou’s boyfriend, drove me to distraction. If he was a real person I would have murdered him by now. He was a sponger and I just couldn’t see what Lou saw in him at all.

The book is written in the third-person, allowing us to flit from one person to another; from Lou to Harry to Fin, to Hedge, to Brian (Harry’s friend) to Victoria et al. It gave a brilliant overview of the story, allowing us to learn things other characters didn’t know and give us a sense of what was coming. Victoria was particularly cunning in the lengths she went to get Lou to marry Harry. Awful woman, but strangely compelling. I must admit I wasn’t a fan of Hedge’s continual use of ‘like’ (“I thought you, like, loved me”). I know people do speak like that in real life (I hear it all the time while watching Jeremy Kyle) and it did add to Hedge’s authenticity as a total idiot but it still drove me up the wall. When I started Marrying Out of Money I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to enjoy it. But as I read more pages, I got sucked in. I suspended my belief easily and I just allowed myself to be caught up in the plot, in the schemes, in it all. Yes it’s the most far-fetched plot I’ll probably ever read but by God did I enjoy reading it. That’s what fiction is all about, giving us a story so off the wall you just love it. And love it I did. I eagerly await the next Nicky Schmidt adventure, it’s bound to be just as brilliant. I just hope we don’t have to wait a year and a half for it!