Holding on to Forever

by S B Alexander and Siobhan Davis

[chymerra]

I was surprised by Holding On To Forever. I was a little hesitant to read a book where the main characters were a drug dealer and his client. Those exactly aren’t my favorite books to read. But, as soon as I started reading Holding On To Forever, my doubts about the book were erased.

Holding On To Forever was a compelling and heartbreaking read. The dual plotlines follow Adam and Emily as they battle their demons. The author portrayal of an addict is heartbreaking and realistic. The book shows the struggle an addict goes through to stay clean and the relapses that happen. Adam turning to dealing drugs is also a heartbreaking situation.

I liked Adam, and I sympathized with him, to a point. He went back to dealing drugs because it was fast money. He needed that money to get his sister’s vest fixed, to pay her hospital bills, and to keep a roof over his mother’s head. But I agreed with Sam when he found out. Why not get a regular job? Again, it comes back to the fast money. I will admit that I didn’t see the appeal of Emily at first. But, the more I read his part of the book, I figured out that he wanted to save her from herself. Plus, he loved her.

Emily had my full sympathy for the entire book. She had been through so much since she was 15. Even before, now that I think about it. Her mother didn’t like her and didn’t want her. Her father was super distracted. She turned to Molly and other drugs to drown out the pain. It was so sad to read those parts of her story. To top it off, she was blackmailed by this scuzz bag who had a video of her in an orgy while high. He was blackmailing her into doing sexual favors for him and his frat brothers. I didn’t blame her for wanting to forget about it all. I do think that Adam was right for her. But even he couldn’t help her with her demons. And what demons they were. I did guess the truth about what happened to her but to read it, broke my heart. That is something that no one should carry around with her.

I couldn’t stand Emily’s mother. To put it this way, I wanted to reach through the book and throttle her. All she cared about was her image. So when certain things happened to her at the end of the book, I wasn’t upset. I did a fist pump.

I was on the fence about Emily’s father. He was a distracted mess the first half of the book. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to leave that witch he was married too. He did redeem himself when he went ballistic on Adam and then hunted Emily down. That scene and the scene afterward broke my heart.

The author did a fantastic job of portraying how a drug addict thinks. I have a brother who is a heroin addict, and Emily mirrored his behaviors. There were times where I had tears in my eyes because of realistic her behavior was. Even the behavior of Scar and Zach were realistic.

I do want to mention that there are situations where sexual assault was described. The author didn’t hold back any punches when it came to them. I usually don’t get triggered by stuff like that, but I was a little taken aback. So, a warning if anyone is triggered.

The end of the book was terrific. All I have to say is that justice was served with Emily’s mother. Her father also came through for her big time. The epilogues (there are two) were terrific. I loved reading them!! I also liked the author’s note afterward.